Gratitude

Another birthday celebrated. Another solar return begun. So much to be grateful for…

I love responding to all the birthday greetings on Facebook because it’s a fun walk down memory lane. I enjoy that once or twice a year connection with people who are a continuing part of the fabric of my life, even though our lives no longer intersect.

About twenty years ago I experienced an “aha” moment of realizing just how blessed I am that I like people and people like me in return. That’s not a skill I learned or something I can take credit for; it’s my good karma and a gift from God.

So many of our gifts and talents are like that–pure and simple gifts from God. But in our egoic human-ness we take credit for them and start thinking how “special” we are, instead of offering them back up to the Divine in humble gratitude.

Almost fifteen years ago Swami Kriyananda, the founder of the spiritual community where I live, gave me the spiritual name of Bhagavati (don’t worry if you’ve known me by my given name for decades; I still answer to Sharon as well). He shared quite a bit about the meaning of the name Bhagavati, but the only thing I remembered afterwards is the phrase: the fortunate one.

Isn’t that beautiful? As someone who’s often had a difficult time feeling content and at peace with what is, my spiritual name reminds me every day to remember–and give thanks for–the abundant blessings that make me the fortunate one.

Counting the days!

We’re no longer counting weeks until the 50th anniversary. We’re counting days. As in ten days from tomorrow (gulp!).

But you know what? Divine Mother really does have our back! Today I received–completely out of the blue–the most beautiful, generous, incredible offer of help imaginable, from someone who’s coming to the 50th and wants to serve.

Believe me, I said YES! so fast it made my head spin, because I want Divine Mother, God, the Universe, All That Is to see just how open and receptive I am.

This brings to mind a line from a prayer-poem of Yogananda’s that my husband and I have been working with for some time now:

“When you do your part and rely on God to do His, you will find that mysterious forces come to your aid and that all your constructive wishes soon materialize.”

Maybe my friend from the East Coast isn’t a “mysterious force” but she’s definitely coming to my aid. And I’m extremely grateful.

A great rehearsal

Feeling especially appreciative of tonight’s choir rehearsal and reflecting on the reasons why…

Well, the choir is making a lot of progress musically, and it’s always a joy to hear the music coming into fuller expression. Plus, the music itself can be counted on to leave me with uplifted energy and feeling better than when I arrived. And it’s always fun to spend the evening with a choir full of dear friends, with lots of laughter, shared insights, and sense of accomplishment.

But most of all, I’m deeply grateful for that “thing” that can happen in almost any musical ensemble, when a group of people puts aside–to whatever degree possible–their individual selves in order to join their energies in creating something bigger than the sum of their parts. When each person’s mind is focused on the collective goal: contributing concentration, building magnetism, and uniting in ever closer attunement and connectedness.

Of course, all this is largely overt and conscious for an Ananda choir. I mean, our entire lives are dedicated to transcending our little “self” in order to better serve the higher “Self”.

But this kind of experience is not exclusive to devotees. I vividly remember many “peak experience” moments that occurred throughout a wide variety of musical experiences…from jazz bands to drum & bugle corps to musicals to orchestras to chamber music to a gig for a Jewish religious convention!

I grew to live for those moments when the energy of the music would sweep me away so I could feel at-one-ment with “something” bigger. And that’s what is starting to happen more and more with our choir. What a joy it is!

Surf’s up!

Less than two weeks to go to the 50th and I feel like I’m swimming in an ocean of details… which day; which event; how many singers; how many chairs; what songs; which languages; logistics of a new venue; instrumentals; what to wear; booklet of lyrics; ad infinitum!

Sometimes I feel like, rather than swimming, I’m drowning in that ocean of details, which is my cue to remember the difference between swimming and surfing (not that I’ve ever surfed, but I think I understand the basic concept!).

So I crawl up onto my surfboard of knowing that God is the Doer and Divine Mother is in charge. I do my best to negotiate the waves of details through attunement with that higher reality and then I can start enjoying the thrill of the ride.

Someday?

During our three years with Ananda in Los Angeles, we tried everything we could think of to get Ananda Music in front of more people. Swami Kriyananda was there for part of that time as well, pushing us to put out more energy, get out of our comfort zones, and perform more.

One idea we had was to create a movement focused on the power of uplifting music to help people. We called it…

Music Can…
…the choice is yours!

…and we listed all the ways music can be “good” for you.

Discover how music can:
• Make you healthier
• Strengthen your immune system
• Decrease your stress
• Help you feel more relaxed
• Improve your sleep
• Increase your optimism
• Help you through hard times
• Raise your consciousness
• Strengthen your determination
• Help you cope
• Build your faith
• Ignite your motivation
• Open your heart
• Uplift you
• Inspire you
• Energize you
• Comfort you
• Heal your life
• Help you find joy & peace within
• And much, much more!

Now that I think about it, we actually did quite a bit with this, including the creation of a “Positive Music pledge” and a musical program called “The Positive Music Experience”. Then our marching orders changed and we ended up moving back to Ananda Village.

But who knows? Maybe someday the “Music Can” movement will sweep the globe!

Context

Sometime in the first couple of years of my living in the Ananda Palo Alto community, a photographer friend convinced me to do a spontaneous photo shoot. Predictably, self-critic that I am, I didn’t like the photos very much…except this one.

Twenty years later and it’s still one of my favorites. And I find myself asking, why?

Maybe it’s because, by placing me in the midst of such a luxuriantly lush and flourishing Ananda community garden, my friend (probably unconsciously) made a statement about the correct placement of myself–and my musicianship–in the context of Ananda overall.

I remember looking at it back then and loving the imagery of being surrounded and seemingly almost swallowed up by Ananda. The photo reflected my sense of having come home; Ananda was my new context, within which everything in my life was rapidly realigning.

Fast forward another year or so, my life and musical career had been wholly absorbed by my spiritual path and I was on my way to live and tour as part of the singing group in Italy. Our goal? To “help get the music out”, a project that became my life dharma.

Alternatives

Tonight’s inspiration came from a completely unexpected source: a Facebook ad for something called Rasa Koffee. I guess the sweet photo of a mother and baby might have caught my eye at first, but it was the written content that really drew me in.

Why? Because it was so real and honest and conversational and loving and balanced and light. I did end up also being interested in the product (an adaptogenic healthy coffee alternative), but it was my impression of the person behind the product that grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go.

I tried to go back and find the ad, in order to re-read it and understand what it was that I had found to be so compelling; but no luck. All I can think is that it spoke to that part of me that’s looking for the way out of doubt, judgement, and second-guessing oneself…the seemingly eternal litany of “you’re aren’t (smart, good, talented, etc–fill in the blank) enough”.

It’s heartening to see someone modeling a healthy relationship with themselves. It particularly showed in the way the owner responded to negative comments–with gracious compassion and understanding, without getting triggered or defensive. A real change of pace from what you usually read on social media!

You might want to check it out…

One track mind…

I had a conversation with a friend today that helped me understand why I seem to have run out of anything to share that’s the least bit inspiring or even of interest.

The fact is that–from now until June 30 and beyond–pretty much all the inspiration and focus is centered on the 50th anniversary and Temple dedication. It’s hard to find space in my mind or my heart for anything else at all!

It’s making me sort of boring to talk to as well.

Cloisters

No hint of anything interesting to write, so I’ll share a beautiful recording of one of Swami Kriyananda’s most well-known songs instead.

Long I’ve called You, my Lord,
Long I’ve called You.
Many years I have longed for Your sight;
Bathed the darkness with tears of devotion,
Offered candles in prayer to Your light.
How much longer, Friend,
Must I cry Your name?
I am Yours, ever Yours.
Will You come?

First time

Tonight the Ananda Village choir had the first of what’s sure to be many “firsts”: we met–and had a (very brief) rehearsal–in the new Temple of Light!

There’s still scaffolding on the dais and lots of work yet to do between now and the start of the 50th anniversary/Temple dedication event, but we were fully able to experience the temple acoustic…which is amazing!

We also spent some figuring out how we’re going to make room for one hundred twenty (120!) singers on the dais for the 50th anniversary concert.

Mamma mia! 🙂