This is my favorite photo of me and Swami Kriyananda, from sometime in 2003 at Ananda Assisi. I had met him for the first time only three years before, yet I was beginning to comprehend how completely my life had changed as a result.
When Swamiji left his body on April 21, 2013 — eight years ago today — my first reaction wasn’t particularly spiritual or uplifted. When Ramesha read the email message to me, my immediate response was “NO!” And I kept repeating that for some time. Despite knowing how ready Swamiji was to be free in God, I was definitely not ready for him to go.
I felt like I was losing my dearest friend and I couldn’t help thinking of all the times I hadn’t made the effort to be where he was, to hear him and see him and simply be in his presence.
It didn’t (and still doesn’t) matter that I had many opportunities to work with and spend time with Swamiji; the pain I feel is because I couldn’t fully appreciate those blessed times, because I really couldn’t even begin to wrap my mind around how great he was.
I knew Swami in the body for thirteen years. Such a short time, really. But I think about him pretty much every day and thank him for the music, his friendship, and the opportunity to serve Yogananda’s mission through Ananda and Ananda Music.
I can’t imagine a more beautiful or more meaningful life than the one I’m living. Jai Swamiji! 🙏