Tag: Moksha day

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Thinking of Swamiji on his Moksha Day

Collage by Dhuti 💖

Swami Kriyananda left his body on April 21, 2013 — eleven years ago today.

I didn’t respond well when we learned that he had died. We were living in the Ananda LA ashram and it was late on Saturday night when the email arrived from Lakshman. Ramesha read it aloud and I immediately replied: “NO!” — then repeated it emphatically again and again.

I just couldn’t believe it was true.

I still miss him very much, but at the same time I have moments of knowing that he’s with me just as much — or even more — than before.

The challenge is to be more aware of his presence from moment to moment, especially when I’m feeling confused or struggling to understand my next steps. Because when I consciously tune in, he’s right there…guiding me.

In fact, as we celebrate his life on the anniversary of his passing, I’m reminded that one of my intentions while we’re in Lugano is to find (or more accurately, take) the time to get still and ask Swamiji to help me find clarity about the top priorities for Ananda’s music ministry.

I’m definitely feeling an increasing sense of urgency to understand and then accomplish that which is truly mine to do in support of this gift to the world with which we’ve been entrusted — Ananda Music.

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Celebrating Swami Kriyananda’s freedom day

This is my favorite photo of me and Swami Kriyananda, from sometime in 2003 at Ananda Assisi. I had met him for the first time only three years before, yet I was beginning to comprehend how completely my life had changed as a result.

When Swamiji left his body on April 21, 2013 — eight years ago today — my first reaction wasn’t particularly spiritual or uplifted. When Ramesha read the email message to me, my immediate response was “NO!” And I kept repeating that for some time. Despite knowing how ready Swamiji was to be free in God, I was definitely not ready for him to go.

I felt like I was losing my dearest friend and I couldn’t help thinking of all the times I hadn’t made the effort to be where he was, to hear him and see him and simply be in his presence.

It didn’t (and still doesn’t) matter that I had many opportunities to work with and spend time with Swamiji; the pain I feel is because I couldn’t fully appreciate those blessed times, because I really couldn’t even begin to wrap my mind around how great he was.

I knew Swami in the body for thirteen years. Such a short time, really. But I think about him pretty much every day and thank him for the music, his friendship, and the opportunity to serve Yogananda’s mission through Ananda and Ananda Music.

I can’t imagine a more beautiful or more meaningful life than the one I’m living. Jai Swamiji! 🙏