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“Yesterday”

It’s always a little scary going to see a movie that one’s friends have raved about, so I’m very happy to report that we loved it as well!

I enjoyed everything about this movie, including the fact that it really made me think. I’ve never been a huge fan of the Beatles, though of course I know and love their music. And that’s what’s so intriguing about this movie: it opened my eyes to just how much of the “soundtrack” of my life I take for granted.

I mean, can you imagine life without __________ or __________ (insert your favorite Beatles songs here)? It’s like the lead character, Jack, has been charged with an important mission: to keep that rich musical legacy alive and accessible for the world.

Of course, the music of Swami Kriyananda is something completely different (not least because it’s virtually unknown outside of Ananda!), yet I see parallels. It’s easy for us Ananda devotees to take the “soundtrack” of our spiritual life for granted, but can you imagine our lives without __________ or __________ (insert your favorite Ananda songs here)?

This movie left me feeling soooo grateful for all the powerful music in my life and that much more committed to keeping Swami Kriyananda’s rich, deeply inspiring, and uplifting musical legacy alive and accessible for future generations.

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Acceptance

Tonight is an opportunity for me to practice acceptance because–despite sitting at the computer for longer than I care to admit(!)–I haven’t been able to think of a single interesting thing to say.

Zip. Zilch. Nada. Niente. A big gaping emptiness in my brain.

Oh well. C’est la vie and que sera sera. Tomorrow is another day. 🙂

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Three weeks

So…the 50th is done, our Living Discipleship commitment is complete, and I realize I’m looking at a window of opportunity: three weeks to focus on the self-care that all too often takes a back seat to other (seemingly more urgent) commitments and responsibilities.

I’ve made some investments in support of more movement, improved food choices, and general R&R. Maybe I’ll even manage to go to bed early (or at least earlier)! 🙂

At the end of the three weeks we fly to Europe to visit family; hoping to make some progress before then. Wish me luck!

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Ananda’s 100th

The Living Discipleship “Gratitude Event” was today, but I’m the one who ended up filled to overflowing with a sense of deep gratitude…

The event began with some songs (Ramesha and I had been invited to join in the singing), followed by a “skit”, then concluding with a few more songs. I have to write “skit” in quotes because it was way, way beyond any skit I’ve ever seen!

The setting of the short play was the meditation retreat in July of 2069, just after Ananda’s 100th anniversary! The narrators were two of the present day Living Disciples who were welcoming a new crop of 2069 Living Disciples and reflecting on their own experience of jumping into Living Discipleship immediately after the 50th anniversary–“fifty years ago!”, as one of them says.

They then proceeded to trace the evolution of our path, starting with Arjuna choosing Krishna before the battle of Kurukshetra. Briefly, yet powerfully, they acted out the pivotal moments between Jesus and Babaji; Babaji and Lahiri; Yukteswar at the Kumbha Mela; Yogananda meeting Sri Yukteswar; Kriyananda meeting Yogananda; and finishing up with our very own Jyotish meeting Swami Kriyananda and volunteering to help him with the “project” that eventually became Ananda.

It was sweet, devotional, funny, inspiring, and deeply moving.

The first song after the skit was O Master, which wasn’t easy to sing because I was already moved almost to tears. I held it together for Cloisters and Lord, May We Serve You. But then everyone stood and we sang Thy Light Within Us Shining…and I pretty much lost it.

I mean, there we were in the Temple of Leaves, where Swamiji started it all; we’re still feeling the incredible bliss of the 50th anniversary celebrations; and then (somewhat miraculously) through the power of today’s Living Discipleship presentation, I felt as though I was present at Ananda’s 100th anniversary. It felt so real; the blessings were palpable.

Words really can’t convey what a gift this was. Thank you, thank you to each and every one of the great souls who manifested this event.

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Ananda 2.0

As usual, tonight’s All Community Satsang left me feeling uplifted and filled with joy. These meetings are one of my favorite things about Ananda Village, because no matter what the challenge–ahem, opportunity! 🙂 –I’m always thrilled to see my friends and gurubais present things with so much grace and clarity, keeping everything in perspective.

As Jyotish and Devi said, the end of the beginning is now behind us and we are officially into the next phase of Ananda. So here’s to Ananda 2.0!

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Dinner wisdom

A lot of insights were shared during the Living Disciples’ dinner conversation tonight. Below are a few choice gems that I particularly resonated with.

Sometimes when we chant “I want only Thee, Lord”, we can’t help but be aware that–actually–we want a lot of things besides God! So we can change it in our mind to “I want to want only Thee, Lord!”

Or another way of approaching it is to realize that, whatever we’re desiring, it’s really only God that we want:
Want money? God is infinite abundance.
Want a relationship? God is love.
Want more health? God is life energy.
Want to laugh and have fun? God is joy.
(You get the idea.)

And, finally, sometimes it’s hard to access a sense of willingness, but we can be willing to be willing. Or even willing to be willing to be willing. 🙂

I love hearing and thinking about these sorts of tips and practical approaches to the spiritual path.

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Variety

Don’t know what brought it to my mind, but this morning I suddenly found myself thinking about the incredibly wide variety of musical experiences I’ve had in my life.

If someone asks, I explain that I had a career as a classical flutist. One could get the idea that all a classical flutist plays is classical music, but that certainly wasn’t true in my case!

Well, for starters, I went from piano to flute to saxophone before finally returning to study the flute seriously. From age 15-20 I was a saxophonist and Big Band Jazz was my world. I was in five different big bands, playing the music of Stan Kenton, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Thad Jones-Mel Lewis, Vince Gauraldi, and Chuck Mangione, to name a few. It was a lot of fun!

During that period I also spent a (very) short time as a member of a rock band; it simply didn’t take.

I moved to San Francisco, determined to make a living as a musician, and that’s when things got really interesting. To make it as a freelancer I took pretty much every gig that came my way.

I played for Noh Oratorio Society; The Flute Exchange; the show orchestra at the brand new Marriott’s Great America; recordings at Skywalker Ranch; for tips outdoors at Ghirardelli Square (where I was also asked to be part of a TV movie!); for lots of orchestras; and for a gazillion weddings and parties.

But maybe the most unusual gig was the one that popped into my head this morning, after not having thought about it for–oh, about thirty years! And that was the Chrysanthemum Ragtime Band! Yep, I played and recorded for a ragtime band.

When I look back at all the different things I’ve done, I’m grateful that I worked most of that karma out of my system before I came to Ananda. By the time I arrived, I knew with crystal clarity that my happiness did not lie in the next big performance or prestigious gig, and that knowing has allowed me to dedicate myself 100% to Swamiji’s music and to making it more available to the world.

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Resting

I had hoped to catch up on a number of things today, but I guess my psyche really was on vacation because I wasn’t able to accomplish much of anything!

My challenge is to be okay with being non-productive.

This is what makes a “staycation” a little tricky; when we’re in our usual environment it’s hard not to fall into our usual behaviors and expectations. However, opportunities to really rest are also needed.

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Flexibility

We thought we’d be in Half Moon Bay for a few days, but things changed and we only stayed one night. I’m proud of us for being willing and able to admit we had miscalculated and then make a new decision. No regrets!

So now we’re back home and ready to enjoy a couple of days of “staycation”.

Ahhhh….!

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Family and memories

​We celebrated my Dad’s 85th birthday today at a park in Sunnyvale. All five of his children were there, plus a couple of spouses, several grandchildren and one great-grandchild. 

It was a lovely afternoon…and it brought up things to think about. 

For example, the whole crazy thing about time. For something that’s an illusion, it sure looks and feels very real. And because I’m fully caught up in the dream reality that time is a part of, I have to make my peace with the “reality” that sooner or later every single person I love (and even the ones I don’t) are going to go away. Including my Dad. 

With time comes change. My brother has a neurological disease that–with time–is taking away more and more of his functionality, independence, and future. 

I grew up in the Bay Area, but as I drive around there are so many changes–wrought by time–that even when I recall a memory there’s very little sense of connection with the environment that triggered it. 

I think this is why we “can’t go home again.” Maybe we can locate the physical place or rejoin the people (the “house” or its equivalent), but the sense of “home”, of “belonging” has vanished. Sigh.