Reading this brought to mind the profound experience I had while visiting Wales on spiritual pilgrimage to the British Isles.
I had a deep connection with Ireland already, and with my love of PG Wodehouse, Georgette Heyer, and Jane Austen I fully expected to love England. But Wales was a surprise. I felt a profound draw to the forests, the mountains, and the castles.
And in several places — most notably Tintern Abbey on the River Wye — I quite literally felt an “echo of the lost places of my soul’s past.” It was rather disorienting, as if I was walking both in the present and in the past at the same moment.
I also relate to the “grief” mentioned in the definition above. For many years I would walk for hours along the coast feeling that I didn’t fully belong here but not knowing where I did belong. But it helped to be with the wind, and the rocks, and the waves.
Music awakens a similar spiritual longing in me. Beethoven, Mahler, Brahms, Puccini — all of them have repeatedly brought me to tears of such intense yearning for…. something. Something that’s indefinable and beyond words, yet ineffably beautiful.
My theory is that these great composers were in touch with the divine, and that their music awakened and then fanned the flames of my spiritual longing — my inner yearning to seek, to know, to experience the divine for myself.
I’m convinced this was a big part of what set me on my spiritual path and helped determine my ministry.
After the India benefit concert and a first date pizza, it quickly became clear that Ramesha and I were destined to be more than a temporary “item”. I lived in Assisi while he was in Lugano — a 7 or 8 hour drive — but we managed to get together pretty often. He would sometimes join me when the Ananda Singers performed in northern Italy and I would take the train to Lugano when I had enough free days in a row.
But remember the India pilgrimage I was raising money for? It was scheduled for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays, which allowed devotees who were teachers to participate. Unfortunately, that meant Ramesha (a middle school teacher) was going, together with thirty or so other dear friends — many of them the core of Ananda Europa’s music, while I was needed at the retreat to “hold down the [music] fort” over the holidays.
I’m sure you can imagine our angst at having to spend our first Christmas apart! I traveled to Lugano in early December so we could celebrate early, then we made our tearful farewells until early January.
One of Ramesha’s last text messages to me before he flew to India was something about having “scaring thoughts”. I didn’t know what to think, but figuring it must be an English language thing, I put it out of my mind and went back to missing him desperately.
We made it through the 3-week separation (with only a little drama) and I traveled up to Lugano again to see him after the New Year. My brief visit was greatly extended when Ananda Assisi was subjected to a raid by the Guardia di Finanza, making it safer for me to remain where I was (a big drama; but that’s a story for another time).
Although concerned about happenings at our Assisi community, we enjoyed the additional time together and in early February he proposed (I said yes, of course)! We consulted with our friend and astrologer, Drupada, for the most auspicious wedding date and started making plans to fly to California in the summer. And this is when things started getting interesting…
I believe it was in April that I raised the question of what we wanted to wear for our wedding. Ramesha’s response was: “Don’t worry about it.”
Ummm….excuse me? “Yeah, it’s all handled. You don’t need to worry about it.”
Whoa, what just a minute! What do you mean, “it’s all handled?!?”
At which point he says: “You’ll understand when you get your birthday present.”
Now, friends, my birthday is June 20. And our wedding was scheduled for July 5. I’m pretty sure I remained calm and loving, but I definitely made it clear that he had better let me see my birthday present NOW. Which (thank goodness!) he did, and — as you’ve probably already guessed, the birthday present was my wedding sari!
Come to find out, the “scaring thoughts” he was having before leaving on pilgrimage were because he already knew he wanted to marry me — even though we’d only been a couple for about six weeks at that point. He told me about how at each shrine during the pilgrimage he would pray to Master about it and the answer was always “yes”.
Then he arrived at Yogananda’s childhood home in Kolkata, where one of Master’s descendants by marriage had a business selling clothing, and he was inspired to purchase our wedding outfits there. This despite the fact that he hadn’t yet proposed to me!
And that is the story of my beautiful wedding sari. 🥻💞
I really am going to share the story of my wedding sari, but — as I started setting the scene and putting things in context — I realized that I’ve already written that part of it! It’s the backstory for a CD we created…read on to learn more…
Once upon a time a flutist-turned-singer from San Francisco moved to Italy to be part of a singing group. She met many wonderful people while she was there, including a young violinist-guitarist-singer from Lugano (Switzerland). They were acquaintances, who–over the course of a year–became good friends.
Sharon (the flutist/singer) was hoping to go on pilgrimage to India and decided to organize a concert to help raise money for the trip. Fabio (the violinist/guitarist/singer), wanted an opportunity to get to know her better, and was already planning to spend that very week at Ananda Assisi (where she lived).
This gave Sharon the great idea to ask Fabio if he would join her on the concert, which he did. They had one day to rehearse, of which perhaps one-fourth was dedicated to the music, while the other three-quarters was spent talking..and laughing…and talking some more!
This is a recording of that concert, which was amazingly well-received, though truly, the music seemed almost besides the point. More important was the birth of a collaboration which led, a day later, to an official “first date”, followed within the year by a wedding and the forming of The Harmony Duo.
Now known as Bhagavati (Sharon) and Ramesha (Fabio)Â Nani, they recently celebrated the 16th anniversary of their marriage, and are still laughing and talking and making music together as music ministers and co-directors of Ananda Music Worldwide.
P.S. Bhagavati’s music duties in Assisi kept her from going on the pilgrimage to India that year, but her India Benefit CD is once again available (on a donation basis) for anyone who’s interested.
And tomorrow…the sari story (which is not a “sorry” story)! 😂
Ananda Village has been a pilgrimage site for years. Now the Temple of Light will be a powerful new pilgrimage site as well. As I write this, hundreds of people are on their way here to visit these holy places.
Village residents have been encouraged to see ourselves as being on pilgrimage this coming week as well; attending the events and soaking up the inspiration of this blessed time.
This point was brought home to me today as Ramesha and I made up a careful list, then I went grocery shopping. I really stocked up on things and later I found myself reflecting on the idea of “provisions”.
I feel like a throwback to an earlier era, “storin’ up provisions”! But I realize that the motivation behind it is that I want to minimize time spent thinking about mundane things like what to eat, so that I can be as present as possible to the blessings of the experience. Which is definitely part of what being on pilgrimage is about.
