It’s taken me until today to finally feel the reality of starting a new year.
2022 was definitely another doozy of a year and we’re quite content to release it, with deep gratitude for its blessings, lessons, and tremendous spiritual growth.
Now it’s time to look ahead to 2023, which I pray will be filled with boundless love, infinite joy, vibrant health, and abundant prosperity for us all!
It’s interesting to think back to the start of my cancer treatment in early February and remember how uncertain everything felt.
My first appointments coincided with Inner Renewal Week and we weren’t even sure whether I should attend, much less sing.
Then there were decisions to be made about the Oratorio, wondering whether my energy would hold up. We even committed to a Joy Singers concert a week later, although I was a little nervous about doing so.
And now all that is behind me, accomplished with very few side effects and without any serious issues (despite the addition of two weeks of radiation).
My energy held out and I continue feeling good, which leaves me pondering the best next steps in my journey back to full health. Interesting times, indeed!
I’ve decided to share a bit of a health update here, since it’s become clear to people that there’s something going on… 🤔
A while back I was diagnosed with the Big “C”. It’s actually been a few weeks since I last wrote a health update; partly because there wasn’t anything significantly new or different to report, but also because I’ve been quite busy in other areas.
And therein lies the paradox of my life right now…
On the one hand, I feel (and, evidently, look) mostly normal. People see me singing for Sunday service or other events and have a hard time believing that I’m not completely well. That’s okay, because I have a hard time believing it myself!
The busyness I’m experiencing is largely because we’ve committed to doing our Good Friday Oratorio this year. True, it’s with a very small choir, but still…!
Although Oratorio is a big undertaking, we felt the strong inner guidance that this wasn’t the time for the music ministry to pull back, but rather to go for it. So, I’m definitely busier than I originally expected to be right now.
On the other hand, this is a serious illness and the treatment process is getting more varied and intense.
At the end of this month I’ll start two weeks of radiation. Then in early May we’ll meet with doctors to evaluate having a bone marrow transplant, which would mean time in the hospital and a significant recovery period.
So, my challenge right now is wrapping my mind around both of these realities at once: that I feel fine and filled with energy as I continue singing and serving through the music ministry, while at the same time I’m adjusting to the possibility of being out of action for longer than I can really imagine.
For now, it’s enough to keep taking things one step at a time, even while seeking to understand what it all means in the Big Picture.
In the meantime, I’m beyond grateful for all the prayers and good wishes. 🙏😊
I had one of those “moments” not too long ago. You know the ones. Where you suddenly see that you absolutely must make some radical changes and — miraculously — things fall into place to help you do it!
So I’m halfway through the “challenge” that I accepted as part of making these changes and I’m staying the course. Not only can I see and feel my health improving, but even more importantly, I can feel my will reawakening. Which is huge.
I don’t know exactly how I came lose touch with so much of my will power over the past ten or fifteen years, but it feels really good to be getting it back.
It suddenly hit me today that — In the midst of all that’s been going on over the past few months — some subtle but definite changes have been taking place in terms of my physical wellbeing.
I successfully released an old (as in pretty much my entire adult life) unhealthy habit.
I’m well on my way to establishing a healthy new veggies and fruit smoothie habit for breakfast.
I moved past my stubborn resistance and accepted the wisdom of taking medication to get a handle on certain health issues.
I scheduled recommended bodywork and massage appointments.
There’s still plenty to do, but “progress not perfection” is the mantra to remember. That, and “it’s all directional”.
