(not necessarily in that order)
Another late night for us, but the moon sure was beautiful as we drove home!
Today (May 5) was also a lunar eclipse, so there’s lots of moon energy happening these days!
But I’m so tired right now that I’m just grateful for bedtime and sweet dreams.
Tonight is not — I repeat, not — the night to stay up into the wee hours.
We’re already losing an hour due to Daylight Savings, which means getting to rehearsal at 8:45am will feel like 7:45am.
Groan.
I knew going in what the various components would be but I could never have imagined how it would actually feel.
It started, of course, with the high dose chemo; was followed by lots and lots of IV fluids; then the stem cells were transplanted back into my body.
But what puts it all over the top is the reality of being in a bed in a hospital room for hours every day. Today was from 7:30am to 6:00pm, for example (although it was the longest and unlikely to be repeated).
So, despite doing nothing but lying around all day, I’m exhausted. Nighty night.
We spent time in traffic on I-80 today, which we’re not used to anymore, so it totally took it out of us.
In fact, Ramesha went to bed at about 8:30 and I’m headed that way just as soon as I’ve finished this blog post.
Since all I can think about is saying “Good night,” here’s Swami Kriyananda singing “Good Night, Sweetheart.”
Enjoy!
Actually, I have to up before the sun tomorrow.
So, I’m calling it a night and heading to bed.
There’s something about being in seclusion this week between Christmas and New Year’s that has me once again staying up much too late at night.
Of course, I had hoped for the exact opposite; that with plenty of free time for rest and meditation, I would actually get to bed earlier than usual.
Ha!
I’m not so accustomed any more to having both early morning commitments (in town, no less!) and evening events on the same day (while working intensely in the office in between).
But this week that’s happening multiple days in a row!
So, yeah, I’m feeling a little burnt out, but it’s not nearly as bad as the days when I used to stay up until the wee hours — then, I often was burning the candle at both ends.
Now it’s making me that much more determined to get to bed on time!
Trying to come up with a blog topic, but all I could really think about is how late it’s getting and wanting to go to bed. This poem from my childhood popped into my head and I decided to go with it!
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod (Dutch Lullaby)
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe—
Sailed on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.
“Where are you going, and what do you wish?”
The old moon asked the three.
“We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!”
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in that beautiful sea—
“Now cast your nets wherever you wish—
Never afeard are we”;
So cried the stars to the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home;
‘T was all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought ‘t was a dream they ‘d dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea—
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one’s trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.
–by Eugene Field (1850-1895)
Don’t know if it’s lingering vaccination fatigue or the five(!) loads of laundry I did today. Or maybe it’s a combination of the two.
Whatever the reason, I’ve been dragging off and on all day. Now I’m fully ready to say my prayers and hit the sack. 😴
Today I found myself remembering a period in my life when rather than being forced, I was motivated to get to bed early (as in midnight).
It was like this…
While I was finishing up my degree in flute performance at SF State, an acquaintance from the Quaker (Friends) meeting I attended recommended me for a rather particular job: the offices of the San Francisco branch of the American Friends Service Committee were located in a big beautiful mansion in the Inner Sunset, and they needed someone to do light housework and maintenance in exchange for a room and kitchen privileges at only $50 a month rent. Well, even in early-1980’s San Francisco that was like a miracle, so I jumped on it!
I had a sort of attic room on the third floor of the mansion, with a sweet little dormer window. I fixed it up and painted both the room and my bathroom. It was really like a haven to me.
Now, some of you will have never experienced what I’m about to describe — and others will have to think real hard to remember it — but at this time the only options for listening to music were record players, cassette tapes, and radio. And the way radio worked was you listened to what they played, when they played it. Period. No control or interaction whatsoever. Oh, and some stations, at least, weren’t on the air 24/7; they “signed off” at midnight.
That, in fact, was the case with KDFC, the classical radio station that I listened to. But their sign-off music was this wonderful, magical, exquisite piece of music that I loved soooo much that pretty soon I was hurrying to get ready for bed so that it would be the last thing I heard before I went to sleep.
Now I look back on that period of my life and oh! how I wish I could recreate a similar set of circumstances in present time. But it was such a unique and delicate balance…
….of something completely outside of my control, that…
…made me feel so very good and uplifted, that…
…I found it to be so compelling and desirable, that…
…I willingly, and consistently, altered my behavior!
Not only is it impossible to replicate those magical circumstances, I can’t even identify the piece of music that had such an effect on me. Because it was the radio station’s sign-off music, they didn’t actually announce the title or composer. I think it might have been by Stravinsky, and I think it might have had something to do with a fairy or a princess or a kiss (!), but I don’t even know what gave me those ideas.
I’ve tried to research it, but you don’t find that sort of minutiae from that many decades ago any place online. After all, it was probably just handwritten on index cards or typed up on a monthly schedule. But I feel sort of wistful and melancholy when I think of it.