Thinking about how the search for more balance seems to be constant in my life, I found myself drawn to this image.
Someday.
Craving balance
Up and then down
Last week ended on a high note, as I dealt with the bone marrow biopsy with flying colors. It was a beautiful experience of what can happen when you combine lots of prayer support with raising one’s energy.
But this week started on a low note, as I woke up with some sort of intestinal upset that completely threw off my morning routine and made me wonder whether I would even be able to make the drive to town.
I couldn’t really eat the breakfast I had carefully prepared the night before (since I had to fast for four hours before my afternoon chemical stress test). We were late, of course, and then we had to wait a while for our lab tech to be ready for us. All I could do in the meantime was lie down on a couch in the waiting room.
By afternoon my gut had stopped it’s cramping and churning, but the whole thing has left me so drained that I can hardly type.
Coincidence? Or yet another example of the balancing contrast of duality?
Ah well, I’m sure a good night’s sleep will fully restore me!
Working vs singing
Today has mostly been about taking it easy (well, except for doing laundry!) and enjoying the feeling of being completely back to normal physically.
But it’s also been a day for inner work and deep insights from a wise friend.
The key phrases are nothing new; I’ve been trying to work on these things for years.
Peace and contentment. Being vs doing. Balance.
But now these concepts are moving from being given “lip service” to becoming absolutely essential in my life and causing me to take a hard look at my approach to my work.
What an interesting time.
The first snow
I’m starting to realize that I’m never going to get completely accustomed to living where it snows.
Since 2002 I’ve mostly lived in places with real winter weather — Assisi, Lugano, then Ananda Village; our three years in Los Angeles were a brief exception — and yet the first snow of each year continues to feel like a big deal to this San Francisco native.
Enough came down last night and this morning that we made the decision to simply work from home, which actually made a nice balance to all the running around I did yesterday.
Sweeping the patio
At yesterday’s Sevaka retreat, Jyotish spoke about how after Yogananda’s experience of going into samadhi (divine ecstasy or bliss) his guru, Sri Yukteswar, gave him a broom to sweep the porch.
Well, we’ve had a jam-packed weekend, full of satsangs, meetings, and rehearsals, and with lots of performing and recording. And while we didn’t reach the heights of samadhi, there was a whole lot of joy and really high energy.
Not surprisingly, by this afternoon I was pooped and not entirely sure what to do with myself.
But then I was inspired to take my broom and sweep the patio. Which was followed by finally potting (or re-potting) a number of plants that had been patiently waiting to receive some attention.
And it was the perfect balance to all the energy and intensity. Just me, my broom, flowering plants, sunshine, sky, birdsong, and peace.
Mundane tasks of no great import
Then there are days full of mundane tasks, things of no great import. Except that they’re part of helping one’s life to function smoothly.
I can sometimes reach the end of such days and get down on myself for not doing “more” of what’s “important.”
Hence the reminder to be kind to myself. It also helps to remember the need for ebb and flow, for peaks and valleys.
Oh, right! BALANCE.
Achieving equilibrium
Last week was pretty busy. Followed by an intensely active weekend. Leading into a “day off” filled with errands, appointments, and recording.
I thought I was doing just fine with it all…until I tripped and fell on the path leading to our apartment this evening. Nothing serious, but enough to give one pause…
So I had “balance” on my mind as I started writing, although it quickly evolved into the thought of needing to achieve “equilibrium.”
When I began searching for a photo, I think I was unconsciously thinking of a Zen rocks “balance” kind of image. But as soon as I saw this illustration, I knew it was perfect! It describes my life all too well.😄
Ergo the need for balance and achieving equilibrium!
Balancing act
I’m actually happy to report that today was not only about productivity!
To be sure, I “got things done”.
But I also spent time immersed in the beauty of Crystal Hermitage Gardens, sat on our patio in the sun, and cooked a delicious meal.
Feeling challenged?
I sure was today! And I know I’m not alone. A lot of people are experiencing hard stuff–physically, emotionally; themselves, their loved ones…
Of course, my challenge is mostly around feeling out of balance, which makes everything seem that much more overwhelming.
So…what’s the main thing I need to do to achieve more balance? Stop writing, turn off the computer, and go to bed! 😀
Balance
When I think of a workaholic, the image that comes to mind is of a corporate businessperson in a suit. I don’t think of people like myself and Ramesha. But, actually, we sort of fit the bill…admittedly, in our own unique way.
The problem is that when you love what you do… when you feel a sense of mission… when there’s always one more project or task requiring your attention…then it’s easy to lose your sense of balance.
So it feels like a big win that, when we had to rethink our visit to Assisi (for a variety of reasons), we chose to forgo the trip in order to stay in Lugano and dedicate some serious time to rest, rejuvenation, and just being.
Aaahhhh….good for us!
