Tag: Ananda

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A study in contrasts

I was still active as a freelance classical flutist when I moved into the Ananda Palo Alto community in the late-90’s, with a large portion of my income coming from music gigs. Christmas was a particularly busy time, with orchestras offering holiday concerts; businesses hosting office parties; and churches putting on elaborate Christmas pageants.

My second or third Christmas after coming to Ananda, I was blessed with an experience that clearly demonstrated to me the transformative power of Ananda’s meditation techniques and music.

I had performed at a church in a neighboring town the year before and was happy when they asked me back for a second year. But this time, the date of the gig just happened to be five days after a performance of the Oratorio. And, my goodness, what a contrast!

My experience at the “traditional” church:

  • An impatient, critical, abusive conductor
  • A freaked-out keyboardist and indifferent, careless musicians
  • A “slick”, heartless production
  • Superficial, “Hollywood”-style musical arrangements geared to singers’ egos
  • A passive, “dead” audience

My experience at Ananda:

  • A respectful conductor, harmonious communication, and supportive leadership
  • Joyous, caring, inspired musicians
  • A deeply felt, inspired production
  • Elegantly simple yet refined arrangements of superconscious music that awakens devotion and raises singers’ energy
  • A responsive, energetic, and deeply engaged audience

During the church Christmas pageant I was miserable and felt like I could hardly play. I ended up promising myself I would never do that gig again, that the money just wasn’t worth it. But then I got to reflecting: I had done it the year before with no problem; what was different?

The difference was that in the year in-between, I had continued to deepen my meditation practice, becoming more and more attuned to a higher, more loving vibration. So it actually felt traumatic to try and fit myself back into that judgmental, superficial, empty energy.

Bottom line? Although I have rare moments when I miss playing in orchestra, I have no regrets about letting go of that career and dedicating my energies to a higher cause.

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Variety

Don’t know what brought it to my mind, but this morning I suddenly found myself thinking about the incredibly wide variety of musical experiences I’ve had in my life.

If someone asks, I explain that I had a career as a classical flutist. One could get the idea that all a classical flutist plays is classical music, but that certainly wasn’t true in my case!

Well, for starters, I went from piano to flute to saxophone before finally returning to study the flute seriously. From age 15-20 I was a saxophonist and Big Band Jazz was my world. I was in five different big bands, playing the music of Stan Kenton, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Thad Jones-Mel Lewis, Vince Gauraldi, and Chuck Mangione, to name a few. It was a lot of fun!

During that period I also spent a (very) short time as a member of a rock band; it simply didn’t take.

I moved to San Francisco, determined to make a living as a musician, and that’s when things got really interesting. To make it as a freelancer I took pretty much every gig that came my way.

I played for Noh Oratorio Society; The Flute Exchange; the show orchestra at the brand new Marriott’s Great America; recordings at Skywalker Ranch; for tips outdoors at Ghirardelli Square (where I was also asked to be part of a TV movie!); for lots of orchestras; and for a gazillion weddings and parties.

But maybe the most unusual gig was the one that popped into my head this morning, after not having thought about it for–oh, about thirty years! And that was the Chrysanthemum Ragtime Band! Yep, I played and recorded for a ragtime band.

When I look back at all the different things I’ve done, I’m grateful that I worked most of that karma out of my system before I came to Ananda. By the time I arrived, I knew with crystal clarity that my happiness did not lie in the next big performance or prestigious gig, and that knowing has allowed me to dedicate myself 100% to Swamiji’s music and to making it more available to the world.

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My cup overfloweth…

I have loved and appreciated Ananda–the teachings, the people, the communities, the culture, the music–for two full decades. But this past week saw my love and appreciation for all things Ananda soar to new heights!

The 50th anniversary/Temple of Light dedication week was awe-inspiring, transformational, life changing, intense, moving, profound, fun, high energy, and exhausting. Now I’m looking forward to catching up on rest and finding time to integrate the experience.

Jai Guru! Jai Swamiji! Jai Ananda!

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Concert plans

The 50th anniversary concert–the first full concert in the new Temple of Light, happening the evening of Thursday, July 4–is shaping up to be a doozy!

There will be a small but highly accomplished orchestra, accompanying a 120-voice choir! We’ve got sixteen choir members coming from Ananda Assisi; thirteen singers are joining us from various Ananda centers in India; and one singer is coming from Isreal. This is in addition to the singers and musicians from every Ananda community and a number of meditation groups throughout the USA.

The program will consist of some of Swamiji’s most beloved songs and instrumental pieces–including a portion of Life Is a Quest for Joy; a selection from the Secrets of Love CD, and a beautifully choreographed dance to Invocation to the Woodland Devas.

It promises to be an unforgettable experience; if you can’t be with us in person, be sure and check out the live broadcast (click here for more info).

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The way of Ananda Music

I’ve been thinking about how Ananda is not just a physical location–the place I live. It’s also the way I live.

Similarly, Ananda Music is not just the physical sounds–the sheet music, recordings, and performances in which I participate. It’s also the way I participate–as a disciple and devotee first and foremost…seeking to get my little “self” out of the way, so that my higher “Self” can express through the music.

This is what makes Ananda choirs and singing ensembles powerful far beyond our actual musical skills. Every singer is doing their best to be ever more open and receptive to the divine flow. And, sure enough, grace shows up!

Which brings to mind one of my favorite quotes by my guru, Paramhansa Yogananda*: The instrument is blessed by that which flows through it.

So true.

* Yesterday I incorrectly attributed this quote to Swami Kriyananda. Sorry!

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Why “Music.Life.Joy.”?

Because music has been, and still is, both my life and the primary joy of my life.

Believe me, I didn’t choose this. There were times when I envied friends who had “normal” lives, with “regular” jobs. I wanted to be “normal” myself; to have a “regular” life!

But music wouldn’t leave me alone.

I felt so much joy in making music, but there was a lot of angst involved as well. Because it was all I could imagine doing, I needed to make a living at it. But that meant ambition. Competition. And lots and lots of practice—a challenge for someone who really was just in it for the joy and who wasn’t very disciplined by nature!

I stopped playing for a while in my twenties (“time off for bad behavior” I called it); but couldn’t stay away for long.

Later in life—after two degrees in flute performance and a few decades of professional experience—a lot of my joy in making music had dissipated. I got so serious about quitting that I tried to sell my instruments. The piccolo sold pretty easily but I couldn’t find a buyer for my (incredibly wonderful!) flute no matter how hard I tried or how low I dropped the price.

And then I came to Ananda.

Less than a year after moving to the Palo Alto community I found myself staying at Crystal Hermitage (located at Ananda Village) for a weekend while recording the flute parts for the CD, Secrets of Love. What a blessed experience. I was struck with the realization: “Oh, this is why I spent all those years becoming a flutist…and this is why Divine Mother wouldn’t let me sell my flute!”

My life finally started to make sense and (twenty years later!) I’m still gratefully offering every bit of my musical training and experience in service to God and Guru.

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Happy Birthday, Swamiji!

Today, May 19, is the birthday of Swami Kriyananda (aka J. Donald Walters). He would have been 93 years old today and—in a roundabout kind of way—this blog post is in his honor. Swamiji (that’s what I call him, out of respect and gratitude) gave me so very much, but probably his biggest gift to me was that he composed the music to which I’ve dedicated my life for the past twenty years.

Of course, as a professional flutist I loved playing his instrumentals, then over the years I sang so much of Swamiji’s music that I sort of became a singer! More important than any of that, however, is that I found my dharma, my life’s purpose—to be a promoter, cheerleader, and advocate for Ananda Music.

So, the thing is that I actually created this blog at the beginning of the year, but—after establishing the ground work—I found myself unable to commit any words to paper (or internet, I guess I should say). I understood the reason why: DOUBT. Doubt that I had anything worth saying. Doubt that I could express clearly anything I did think of to say. Doubt, doubt, doubt…!

It’s been a big part of the story of my life and it was a relief a number of years ago to finally have it explained to me in terms of astrology. Not that it changed anything, but at least I gained some perspective around it.

The truth is that lots and lots of thoughts and ideas—especially about music—come to me and they inspire me enough that I write them down, then tuck them away. The other day I found a collection of these little slips of paper and realized that by allowing doubts to stifle my self-expression, I’m blocking any possibility of Swamiji using me as a potential channel of inspiration to others. And that’s not okay.

So, in honor of Swamiji’s birthday, I’m officially launching this blog. And I’ll share my thoughts and ideas no matter what doubts may come.

Thank you, Swamiji.