I’m slowly coming to realize that I actually haven’t been settling back into my routines very well. In fact, I can’t quite remember what my routines are.
I still get work done, but it feels rather haphazard and is often driven by the pressure of deadlines and urgency. Not ideal.
I started wondering what’s wrong with me that I’m not “knuckling down” and “getting it done.”
But then I thought, “Oh, right. The pandemic.” And, “Oh, right. Cancer.” Both, in their own way, dismantled any sense of normalcy.
The pandemic did it by completely obliterating routine, while cancer simply imposed its own demanding routine and schedule for pretty much a full year.
This realization doesn’t magically make everything fall into place, but at least I can acknowledge why it’s feeling like such an uphill battle to get focused and productive.
And though “scattered and unfocused” may be my current normal, I have faith it’s only temporary.