Author: Bhagavati (Sharon) Nani

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Scattered and unfocused: my new normal

I’m slowly coming to realize that I actually haven’t been settling back into my routines very well. In fact, I can’t quite remember what my routines are.

I still get work done, but it feels rather haphazard and is often driven by the pressure of deadlines and urgency. Not ideal.

I started wondering what’s wrong with me that I’m not “knuckling down” and “getting it done.”

But then I thought, “Oh, right. The pandemic.” And, “Oh, right. Cancer.” Both, in their own way, dismantled any sense of normalcy.

The pandemic did it by completely obliterating routine, while cancer simply imposed its own demanding routine and schedule for pretty much a full year.

This realization doesn’t magically make everything fall into place, but at least I can acknowledge why it’s feeling like such an uphill battle to get focused and productive.

And though “scattered and unfocused” may be my current normal, I have faith it’s only temporary.

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I still remember how

Can’t remember the last time I sat up late handwriting music parts; it’s surely been decades and decades.

Fun to watch little details come back to me…and I’m grateful for it, too.

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Today was the day

Yes, after months of preparation and reflection, today was the day that we took the plunge.

In other words, we took nayaswami vows, which means complete dedication of our lives to the search for God.

Outwardly, we’ll wear blue — the color of the Nayaswami Order — but the main work is inward. We’ll have our same jobs, see our same friends, live our normal life, but all in the ever-increasing awareness that we are living our lives for God.

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Driving, driving, and more driving

For various reasons it had been all too many years since I attending a Brooks-Stroud family gathering. So, today was the day!

The picnic was in Sunnyvale, which is usually a three and a half to four hour drive (depending on traffic). Well, today — thanks to traffic, detours, and a grass fire along 580 — it took closer to six.

I enjoyed a couple of hours connecting with Dad, siblings, aunts and uncle, and also getting reacquainted with a number of cousins. But since the friend with whom I was planning to spend the night came down with COVID 😱, I decided to go ahead and drive back home.

Lots less traffic and a dinner break along the way with another friend both helped a lot. But I was definitely getting a little tired about halfway through.

Thank goodness I happened to throw a couple of CDs into the car when I left!

Between the high energy Irish music of Orla & the Gas Men (my Irish friends from way back when) on their Minding Mice at Crossroads CD and the high energy singing of Ella Fitzgerald (“Newport Jazz Festival, Live At Carnegie Hall“), I was able to stay engaged and alert all the way home!

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Part of my heart is still in San Francisco

Photo by Amogh Manjunath on Unsplash

It was Ramesha who read this morning that Tony Bennett had passed away at the ripe old age of 96. He told me the news and then asked who Tony Bennett was.

Of course, I immediately started singing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” which meant exactly nothing to Ramesha, who was born and raised in Switzerland.

But as I sang the song — the entire thing, remembering pretty much all the lyrics — I remembered just how much I loved “the City by the Bay” for the twenty-odd years I lived there.

And even though I was never a huge Tony Bennett fan, I feel a lot of sadness on his passing. As well as a whole lot of gratitude for gifting us with this wonderfully iconic song.

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My eternal quest

“Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.”
    — Thomas Henry Huxley

I’ve got quite a bit of education, but I have not yet achieved this oh-so-valuable result.

I keep trying, though.

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A story of true brotherhood

Carl “Luz” Long (left) and Jesse Owens

I first saw this as a post in Facebook. Curious to know more, I read a detailed article on a website about World War II history.

The enduring friendship that was forged during the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, Germany between American athlete, Jesse Owens, and German athlete, Carl “Luz” Long was truly inspirational.

I highly recommend reading the full article, and especially the last letter that Luz Long wrote to Jesse Owens. It’s deeply touching and also a real testament to the truth of our oneness in spirit.

Reading and reflecting on this brought to mind a song by my friend, Greg Tamblyn (I mentioned him a while back in my blog post about “Unconditional Love”).

Titled “One Day On The Fields of France,” it’s based on a true story from World War I, and conveys a beautiful message of healing through forgiveness. At the same time it reminds us that wars and division and conflict are not our natural state.

“One Day On The Fields of France” by Greg Tamblyn

Swami Kriyananda also put it beautifully in one of the most beloved of his songs, “Brothers”:

Then brothers, why endeavor
To set ourselves apart?
The fences we’ve been building
Squeeze tight upon our hearts!
Come sing the truth that all men are brothers!
Come sing the truth that all men are—
Brothers!

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Craving balance

Thinking about how the search for more balance seems to be constant in my life, I found myself drawn to this image.

Someday.

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Patiently waiting their turn…

…are the many photos from our trip to Europe that I haven’t yet found the time to organize and share!

I was reminded of the fact when I stumbled on this photo of the house where Ramesha was living when I first moved to Switzerland.

We hadn’t been in that neighborhood in maybe ten years, but it sure brought back lots of memories.