Month: August 2023

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Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!

Today I received an email with the subject: Your Student Loans Have Been Forgiven.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, but it went on to say:
Congratulations! The Biden-Harris Administration has forgiven some or all of your federal student loan(s) with MOHELA in full. 
This debt relief was processed as part of the Biden-Harris Administration’s one-time account adjustment because your student loan(s) have been in repayment of at least 20 or 25 years. 

Well, I immediately logged into my student loan account and saw a bunch of $0.00’s.

At which point I burst into tears.

You see, I borrowed $5,000 back in the mid-80’s when I was going to the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. I was determined to make it as a freelance musician and I did not have much understanding or practical skills when it came to money.

An unfortunate combination.

I chose the repayment option where you start out with small payments but agree to greatly increased amounts after a certain length of time. But when that time came I wasn’t earning appreciably more — or handling my earnings any better.

So, I missed payments, got derailed by rocky life experiences (like the end of my marriage, the death of my mother, etc.), slipped into denial, and eventually landed in default.

To make a long story short, I eventually had to refinance the loan. I’m still not entirely sure how it worked, but I think that all the interest I had accumulated became part of the principle owed. At any rate, the amount I was now paying off was many, many times more than that original $5,000.

By the time I moved back from Europe in 2006, I was painfully aware of what a mess I had created through my combination of ignorance and denial. I had learned my lesson the hard way.

In fact, although I was staying meticulously current with whatever payments I could afford, and immediately communicated if there were any change in my situation, I was depressingly aware that I would most likely take this debt to my grave.

I can hardly find the words to convey what a weight off my heart and psyche it is to understand that — after almost forty years — I can let this go.

It truly feels like a miracle.

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Flute day number 5

Definitely feeling like I’m on a roll with my practicing.

But you know what’s even more important? As the number of days in a row increases, I can feel myself becoming attached to not breaking the “streak”.

For once, attachment is a good thing. 👍

Best not to get too excited about it all, but at the same time I can’t help but wonder where this might lead.

Meanwhile, today I practiced trills, and boy, did that feel weird!

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An overall productive day

This morning we had a garden consultation, while sitting with our friends (landscaper and wife) on the patio enjoying coffee and treats.

I learned which plants need to go into the ground, which ones need fertilizing in the spring, how we could make our already beautiful view even better, and — yay! — I finally have the perfect location (and reason) to plant some jasmine.

This afternoon we took part in a lovely satsang at Chandi ashram house for the current crop of karma yogis.

Each person shared how they came onto the spiritual path, then we spent time chanting. It was quite the international group, as the karma yogis originally hail from Germany, Turkey, Russia, China, and India!

I came home in the early evening and — for the fourth day in a row — I practiced. It’s really quite remarkable, but I even downloaded a metronome app and used it as I did honest-to-goodness long tones.

I hardly recognize myself!

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Reconnecting with the flute

I don’t want to celebrate too soon, but I think something might have shifted between me and the flute.

It’s not just that I’ve practiced three days in a row. It’s that it felt like real practicing — exceedingly brief, yes, but real.

On the second day I even did slow scales in all twelve major keys, through the entire range of the instrument. (I think I hadn’t played a high C in fifteen years!)

I’ve also felt like doing it, which at this point in my life is strange and unusual behavior. 😄

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Perspective is everything

Perspective truly is everything, isn’t it?

I mean, from the perspective of the present moment I’m really — and I mean really — glad that we made the decision to stay home this fall.

I say that largely because all the rest of our music team members are in the midst of flux and change and challenge right now.

From an imminent knee surgery to helping an elderly parent move to a new state, and from touring Europe with Asha to an extended visit to India…there’s going to be a whole lot of coming and going!

So, I’m grateful and content to help hold down the fort for a change.

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Buon Ferragosto!

Italians on vacation. Photo by Michaela on Unsplash

“Buon Ferragosto!” is what I’m seeing everywhere I look on Facebook today.

It brings back memories of Ananda Assisi’s busiest season, as well as of monumental traffic jams when we (occasionally) forgot and made the mistake of traveling on the actual day. Not a good idea.

Fortunately, the memories are mostly very sweet.

But what exactly is Ferragosto? It’s a public holiday that originated back in 18 BC (that’s a really long time ago!) and is still celebrated throughout Italy on August 15th.

The name translates to Feriae (Festival) Augusti (for Augustus, the Roman emperor). Emperor Augustus made August 1st a day of rest after laborers had spent weeks working hard on the farms and in the fields.

The custom was for the workers to wish their employers “Buon Ferragosto” and receive a monetary bonus in return. This became law during the Renaissance throughout the papal states.

Then, starting around the 5th century, the Catholic Church moved the observance of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary to the same date. For observant Catholics in countries like Italy, Spain, Greece, Mexico, etc., August 15 is right up there with Easter and Christmas.

August 15 also just happens to be the birthday of one of my favorite humans: our friend and colleague in the music ministry, Jeannie! 💖

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Building momentum

We had two meetings today. both of which — together with a couple of important meetings from last week — are adding to our sense of the increasing momentum and growing magnetism of the music ministry.

It’s a very good feeling!

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What if?

I actually started crying when I first read this on Facebook. I immediately shared it on my feed but felt to say more about it here.

What first touched my heart was imagining how the world would be if all teachers had this understanding and routinely offered this kind of support to the children in their care.

But then I found myself thinking, what about our workplaces? What about our homes?

If your family is experiencing difficulties at home, I would like to provide additional support at work. I understand that you are not always able to share details and that’s okay. If your wife/husband/adult child is coming to work after a difficult night, morning or weekend, please text me “Handle with Care”. Nothing else will be said or asked. This will let me know that your wife/husband/adult child may need extra time, patience, or help during the day.

OR…

If my wife/husband/adult child is experiencing difficulties at work, I would like to provide additional support at home. I understand that you are not always able to share details and that’s okay. If my wife/husband/adult child is coming home after a difficult day, please text me “Handle with Care”. Nothing else will be said or asked. This will let me know that my wife/husband/adult child may need extra time, patience, or help during the night or over the weekend.

OR EVEN…what about ourselves?

If I am experiencing difficulties at work or at school or at home, I would like to provide myself additional support within. I understand that I may not always be able to deal with details and that’s okay. If I’m trying to cope after a difficult day, night, or weekend, please God, help me remember to “Handle with Care”. Nothing else need be said or asked. This will remind me that I may need extra time, patience, or help.

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Puttering around at home

Today was entirely a puttering around, homebody kind of day, in which I never stepped foot outside the house.

I cleaned a bunch of (very) old stuff out of the frig; laundered four loads of clothes; washed lots of dishes; and watered all my indoor plants.

But I also had coffee and a chat with Ramesha; read my book; watched a few video clips; and dozed off for a while.

Now I’m going to watch a movie while I fold four loads of laundry.

It’s days like this when I’m reminded that, although I love people and can be quite the social butterfly (after all, my sun sign is Gemini!), at heart I’m an introvert and need days like this to restore my inner equilibrium.