I thought I knew what to write today but can’t find the item that originally inspired what I wanted to say.
But since I’ve spent all my available time searching for it, this is all that’s left for me to say!
Puzzled and perplexed
Hard memories from 44 years ago
Yesterday I happened upon an article in the San Francisco Chronicle marking the 44th anniversary of the assassinations of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and city supervisor Harvey Milk, who were shot and killed in City Hall by former Supervisor Dan White.
On November 27, 1978, I was a twenty-two year old college student living in San Francisco while majoring in music at SF State University.
I’ll never forget listening to the radio as I parked my car in front of my apartment in Park Merced and hearing Dianne Feinstein (President of the Board of Supervisors) announce that the Mayor and Harvey Milk had been murdered, followed by gasps and cries from the assembled reporters.
The shock was intense and visceral, compounded by the fact that it came only ten days after the Jonestown massacre — when more than 900 people, mostly San Franciscans, died at a compound in Jonestown, Guyana, when ordered by cult leader Jim Jones to drink poison. A squad of People’s Temple members was also sent to shoot an investigative delegation led by Rep. Leo Ryan, D-San Mateo, as it prepared to fly home from a nearby airstrip. Ryan and four others died on the airstrip, and 10 others were wounded.
I remember feeling as though the world had turned completely upside down. These things simply didn’t happen in a sane world. Or so I thought.
A certain innocence was lost that November in San Francisco.
Christmas rituals
We’ve gotten a good start on our Christmas rituals.
The tree and nativity are up. And today we got our coffee in Starbucks Christmas cups. šš
Loving self-care
The topics of self-care and self-love have been on my mind a lot lately.
Iāve especially been pondering the question of what blocks me from consistently treating myself with loving self-care.
More to be revealedā¦
A transitional kind of day
The transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas has begun; eating leftover nutloaf while decorating the tree.
Tomorrow afternoon is the setting up of the creche.
November 26 health addendum
Iām sure it wonāt come as a surprise to learn that Iām particularly grateful for some very specific things this Thanksgiving season.
- Iām grateful for my primary care physician — Amy Nielsen at Sierra Family Medical Center — for connecting the dots that led to my cancer diagnosis a little less than a year ago.
- Iām grateful for the excellent care I received at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital, in the oncology, radiation, and infusion departments.
- Iām grateful for every person on the apheresis and bone marrow transplant teams at UC Davis Medical Center.
- Iām grateful for Dr. Lena Suhaila, my naturopathic integrative oncologist, and for her guidance in addressing the more subtle and holistic aspects of healing.
- Iām grateful for every single doctor, specialist, nurse, lab technician, pharmacist, or other medical professional I encountered throughout my journey.
- Iām grateful for the hundreds of people from around the world, and from every area (and era) of my life, who prayed, sent encouraging letters and emails, or otherwise supported my process.
- Iām grateful for the teachings and practices of my spiritual path that provided the tools I needed to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude.
- Iām grateful for the music of Ananda which has been an important part of my healing process.
- Iām grateful for the financial assistance from many organizations and individuals that allowed me to focus on healing without stressing about the expense.
- Last but not least, Iām grateful for Ramesha, for my Dad, and for my friend, Suzanne. Theyāve been my rocks throughout this experience and, in my Dadās case, throughout my life.
I also want to take this opportunity to let everyone know that Iām doing extremely well physically. Itās true that I still have to be careful to avoid viral infections (as my immune system comes fully back online), but my energy is so good that the only other ādangerā I have to guard against is slipping back into ānormalā mode too quickly.
Why? Because my usual tendency has always been to neglect the subtle and holistic self-care elements that can lead to deeper levels of healing. And I feel one of the major lessons of this whole experience has been to wake me up to the absolute importance of true self-care. So, Iām working on it!
I love and appreciate each and every one of you, and hope youāve enjoyed a blessed Thanksgiving, filled with an abundance of love and joy.
Hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving!
I’ve been on a roll with rearranging things in our apartment, which means going through boxes and papers and discarding a lot of unnecessary clutter.
I did finish in time to attend our first real Thanksgiving dinner since 2019(!), but I’m going to have to do post-Thanksgiving calls and cards.
However, while working, I was reflecting on all that I have to be grateful for…and it’s an extremely long list.
I give thanks to the Giver behind each gift, and to the one Giver behind all that I receive. My gratitude rises with devotionās incense to the throne of Omnipresence.
— Swami Kriyananda
Autumn’s golden glory
I appreciate autumn leaves of all types and colors, but I do believe what I love the most is when the oak leaves turn golden.
Because oak trees predominate in the area where we live, I start to feel like I’m living in a beautiful golden dream.
These photographs are taken from the parking area of our home. I just had to try and capture the beauty before I headed out to run errands.
Very interesting
I find it very interesting that the day after I decided to pause the nourishing cleanse, the following happened:
I meditated much longer than usual.
I did dry skin brushing before my shower.
I ended my shower with hydrotherapy (alternating hot and cold several times at the end).
It seems that — having stopped putting pressure on myself — a part of me now feels free to go ahead and do these nurturing activities.
Go figure!
Nourishing cleanse update
I came to an important realization today: this wasn’t really the right time to attempt the full nourishing cleanse. I had the bandwidth to make the dietary changes, but trying to add in the other self-care elements has proved challenging and even frustrating.
So, I’m hitting the pause button with the intention of rescheduling it for sometime after Christmas and/or early in the new year. At that point we’ll have been back longer, plus the intense “getting ready for the holidays” energy will be behind us.
The good news is that I feel good about this decision. I plan to continue most of what I’ve been doing, but with a more relaxed attitude as I gradually add back in a bit more food variety.
Bottom line is that I’m grateful for the “course correction” this past week of super healthy eating has given me. I’m grateful for the microbiome mash and for the motivation to learn how to use my Instant Pot. And I’m grateful that the process will be that much easier the next time around.
But most importantly, I’m grateful for being flexible and gentle with myself.