Remembering a heart-stopping moment

The gold and silver flute left on a Chicago train by a graduate student from the Boston Conservatory.

As soon as I saw this headline — Lost: A Golden Flute on a Train. Found: Faith in Others. — I knew I would resonate with the story related in the article, because I had a similar experience with my own flute many years ago.

At the time I was playing on a handmade silver Haynes flute. It wasn’t worth $22,000 dollars (I have to say, I’ve never understood the need for a gold flute!), but $2,000 back in the mid-70’s was still a lot of money for a college student.

I had taken the bus from De Anza College to the intersection of Stevens Creek Blvd and Wolfe Rd, where I sat on the grass while waiting to transfer to the bus that would take me the rest of the way to my apartment in Sunnyvale.

I set purse, books, and flute next to me on the grass as I waited. We were about halfway to my stop when I realized that I didn’t have my flute. Panic!

My first impulse was to jump off the bus and run back, but I was a good mile away by that time. So I quickly reasoned that it would be faster to continue home and get my bicycle for a faster return.

I ran home as fast as I could…and found my mother waiting for me on the doorstep. She had taken transit to come and visit but, of course, I wasn’t very welcoming — especially because as I went to get my bicycle I suddenly remembered that my brother, who shared the apartment with me, had borrowed it that day. Double panic!

In desperation I called a friend who dropped everything to give me a ride back to the bus stop, where I found two boys waving the case at me and calling, “Is this yours?” It was clear that they had opened it to check out what was inside, but nothing was damaged or missing (just a little sticky from their fingerprints).

I didn’t have any money to give them as a reward, and knew they would not have welcomed an appreciative hug, so I simply expressed my fervent thanks and resolved to never set my flute (on its own) next to me ever again.

The problem is that flutes are small and the case is almost always black. What you eventually learn to do is have a flute bag, in which the flute lives, because it’s a lot harder to overlook a big bag!

It surprises me that the young man from Boston hasn’t learned that lesson yet. His story did have a happy ending, but it was a close call. The person who found his $22,000 flute tried to pawn it and it was only thanks to the sharp intuition and quick thinking of the pawn shop owner that he was eventually reunited with his instrument. However, he first had to endure days of what must have been agonized waiting!

To play a purple flute

After spending the past few days reminiscing about flute playing, I was surprised to hear from a friend who wants to get back into playing and wondered if I had any suggestions for a starter flute. Not having taught regularly in almost twenty years, I did a quick Google search.

Well, it was quite illuminating! Yes, there were a few brands I remembered from back in the day (like Gemeinhardt and Yamaha), though the majority were companies I had never heard of.

But the real eye-opener was finding out that student flutes now come in colors! And you can buy them made of plastic! This is all wonderful, of course — I’m sure parents are thrilled to be able to find truly inexpensive flutes that a grade schooler can’t easily destroy. It’s just that I never could have imagined it, that’s all.

Merging separate realities into one

Fabio (aka Ramesha) as lead singer of the band, Reload.

Once Ramesha and I had clicked musically and romantically, things progressed rather quickly.

I was still touring with the Italy singers, while he was in Lugano teaching middle school music. Sometimes I would take the train to Switzerland, while other times he would drive to meet the group when we had performances in northern Italy.

But by March of 2004 the touring group had disbanded and I relocated from Ananda Assisi to Lugano. I did have a few qualms, I must admit. While I didn’t doubt our relationship, I was rather disconcerted to learn that there was no spiritual community in Lugano. Plus Ramesha wasn’t even interested in living in community, while I had never expected to live outside one ever again! Hmm…

Then there was the fact that he was the lead singer in a rock band. That took a while for me to wrap my mind around for sure! But I trusted in Divine Mother’s plan for me and I’m grateful every day that I did.

The role of the flute in my spiritual journey

Last summer I wrote a blog post about the very first duo concert Ramesha and I did, before we were even a couple! It was titled, “How it all began…

When I listen to the recording of that concert now, what amazes me the most is my flute-playing. It was a unique time really, when I was able to draw on my decades of experience as a professional flutist, but I no longer had to deal with being a professional flutist.

In other words, I no longer had the stress of driving all over the metropolitan SF Bay Area for gigs. I wasn’t spending hours practicing difficult music, followed by more hours sitting in orchestra with a mixed bag of musician colleagues playing that difficult music.

Instead, I was living in beautiful Umbria, surrounded by a level of calm and quiet that I’d never before experienced in my life. I didn’t have to drive at all. And virtually all of my time on the flute was spent playing beautiful uplifting melodies which — by professional flutist standards — were a piece of cake!

Don’t get me wrong; I loved being a professional musician and being part of an orchestra. I had a ton of awesome experiences and worked with lots of lovely people. But somewhere along the way it went from being something I did because I loved it, to turning into a job where I felt I never quite measured up. I pushed myself, then pushed myself some more, and eventually that sense of strain and stress started to come through in my flute tone.

Finally, I was ready to give up on being a flutist altogether, to the point where I tried (unsuccessfully, thank goodness) to sell my instrument. But within a couple of more years I had found my way to Ananda, Yogananda, and Swami Kriyananda; to meditation, Kriya Yoga, and spiritual community; to Ananda’s music, singing(!), and touring Italy for almost two years sharing that music.

And what I found in my first months living in Italy was that the dramatic shift in lifestyle resulted in a relaxation and renewed enjoyment that could be heard in my flute playing; it was like returning to the simple joy in making music that I had experienced from childhood up until about halfway through Conservatory.

Ramesha and I did include a few classical pieces on that India Benefit concert, but it’s far from a “perfect” performance. For one thing we talked and laughed through most of our rehearsal time, instead of working on the music. But really, we were there to have fun getting to know one another, while also sharing our joy in making music with our spiritual community.

We didn’t know it then, but it was the beginning of our musical dharma, the best gig of all.

Largo from Sonata in B minor by Georg Philipp Telemann | India Benefit Concert CD by Bhagavati & Ramesha

United in God, music, and laughter

We met through our spiritual community, so a love for God was what we shared before we even became acquainted.

We laughed a lot as our friendship grew. In fact, the first gift I ever gave him was a favorite photo of Swami Kriyananda laughing uproariously.

But I’m pretty sure love started to grow the first time we rehearsed together for a concert. It was like recognizing a kindred spirit (and, yes, we recently finished watching Anne of Green Gables!). 😄

The pictures above are from the weekend of our wedding at Ananda Assisi (we had two ceremonies, in order to accommodate family on both continents).

Back to our beginnings

The Harmony Duo performing in Lugano, Switzerland (2007)

While some things will never be quite the same as they were back in 2004 — when we first realized that we had a musical dharma to fulfill as a couple — the essence of who we are and the musical attunement we share remains constant.

These past many years we’ve kept ourselves extremely busy either singing with small groups or organizing Village and worldwide music or building a solo music business like Ramesha’s. Then the pandemic arrived and we suddenly couldn’t do a lot of the music we were accustomed to doing.

And bit by bit I started to understand how much I’ve missed making music with my other half. Turns out he’s missed it, too! So we’re getting ready to do something about that. 😊

Capturing the essence of a year

So, this is what I’ve been doing these past days. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around sharing anything else.

The process of reviewing the year was exhausting in some ways, because it meant remembering and sort of reexperiencing all the ups and downs and crazy changes of the past ten months. But it was also heartening, in the sense that we can look back and know that we got through it!

Hopefully, we’ll all be back to some semblance of normal soon.

Click here to read about our year: Ananda Music Annual Report

Day off? Ha!

Monday used to be our “day off,” but such distinctions have pretty much gone by the wayside in these topsy-turvy days.

Yes, I got a lot done, but it’s been the kind of intense day that has left me feeling like “toast” and more than ready to turn off the computer and be done with it.