Twice in a row I had skipped my weekly fast day. A strong resistance had taken hold.
Thank goodness I’m beginning to know and accept myself a little better. After about a week of managing to (mostly) resist the resistance, I realized it was growing instead of diminishing.
So, I picked my day and decided to give in. Yep, I consciously surrendered and went “off program”.
And a couple of interesting things happened.
First, I was able to relax. It was a relief to stop pushing myself.
Then, after a couple of days, I started to notice ways in which I felt different. Small things, like getting a stuffed up nose. Feeling bloated. Still feeling hungry after having eaten. Having difficulty focusing. And I remembered that those things used to be my “normal”, but they aren’t so much any more.
Finally, I remembered that I have a follow-up doctor’s appointment scheduled for later this month — fasting labs, the whole nine yards — and I realized that no way was I going into that appointment while “off program”! Not after over six months of consistency and good results (even if I haven’t been perfect).
So, I picked my day once again — my weekly fast day — and declared myself back “on program”, with a vengeance!
But I needed that little surrender break. I needed the reminder of how much this program is changing me, and now I’m back to doing it because I want to, not because I feel I have to.