(not necessarily in that order)
I’ve never before felt such a powerful sense of relief after voting in an election. And I’ve never before felt so much urgency about voting early.
Tonight I’m feeling grateful for America and for democracy. Neither is perfect (nothing is in this world), but I definitely prefer them to the alternatives.
I love knowing my vote counts.
Swami Kriyananda left his body on April 21, 2013 — eleven years ago today.
I didn’t respond well when we learned that he had died. We were living in the Ananda LA ashram and it was late on Saturday night when the email arrived from Lakshman. Ramesha read it aloud and I immediately replied: “NO!” — then repeated it emphatically again and again.
I just couldn’t believe it was true.
I still miss him very much, but at the same time I have moments of knowing that he’s with me just as much — or even more — than before.
The challenge is to be more aware of his presence from moment to moment, especially when I’m feeling confused or struggling to understand my next steps. Because when I consciously tune in, he’s right there…guiding me.
In fact, as we celebrate his life on the anniversary of his passing, I’m reminded that one of my intentions while we’re in Lugano is to find (or more accurately, take) the time to get still and ask Swamiji to help me find clarity about the top priorities for Ananda’s music ministry.
I’m definitely feeling an increasing sense of urgency to understand and then accomplish that which is truly mine to do in support of this gift to the world with which we’ve been entrusted — Ananda Music.
Today I’m experiencing the intense frustration that results from feeling my unique version of the “fierce urgency of now,” while at the same time feeling stuck, as though there’s something holding me back from the appropriate “vigorous and positive action.”
Arggghhhh!
I could be wrong, but I’m beginning to suspect it has to do with the fact that I haven’t made virtually any music in almost six weeks. And it’s not just a matter of my singing/playing getting “rusty;” it’s the not dipping into the flow of creativity and not enjoying the energy exchange that comes with participating in an ensemble and from performing for people.
So, in looking for a visually magnetic version of the above Martin Luther King quote, I stumbled on a blog with the attention-getting (to me, at least!) title of “Shut Up and Create.” This really felt like Divine Mother was talking to me! 😂
Anyway, this particular “Shut Up and Create” post — The fierce urgency of NOW…it’s on us — was published almost exactly a year ago and contains some sentences that really resonated for me…
“…your work, ideas, activism, advocacy, and creativity are needed NOW. What are you sitting on that will make our world a better place to be free in?” [and] “The world is waiting for you to put your ideas, skill, talents, and thoughts into action. That book, app, learning community, workshop, non-profit, social enterprise you’ve been sitting on is needed NOW.”
Reading this is both exhilarating and terrifying, because I know in my heart that this is my time and my test.