Mother’s Day & Liam

The birth/death of Liam Andrew — my stillborn son who would have turned twenty-nine today — occurred three days before Mother’s Day. And my mother had passed away two years before that.

I still remember how the combination of shock, grief, and hormonal changes left me feeling completely dazed and confused as I negotiated those first days. And Mother’s Day cards had me reeling.

After all, I no longer had a mother and all of a sudden I wasn’t going to be a mother either. It was a very surreal time.

Twenty-nine years later the grief and the wounds have healed. But there’s always a few moments in the lead-up to Mother’s Day when I have to pause and reflect and give thanks for my mother and for the experience of being Liam’s mother for even a short while.

Remembering my mom

Yesterday — June 17 — was the twenty-ninth anniversary of the day my mother — Bernice Louise Stroud — left her body.

Hard to comprehend that twenty-nine years have passed since then!

We didn’t have the easiest of relationships; I wish we’d had the last almost thirty years to grow in appreciation and learn to understand one another better.

My sister shared these photos yesterday in honor of my mother’s passing. I must have seen the first two before, although maybe not since her funeral. Looking at them, I’m struck anew by her sweetness and her smile.

The last one — with my father — has always been one of my favorite photos of all time. What a beautiful couple they are.

Remembering you with much love, Mom.