I was driving home from the office last night and I had a flash of insight as to why it’s been so hard to find my bearings lately. It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say I’ve been feeling completely at sea.
Well, what I realized is that I’ve been sailing (to stick with the nautical metaphor) without a rudder for much of this past year. As a church musician for the past twenty-plus years, there are always weekly, quarterly, and annual events that anchor my musical year.
This was entirely on an unconscious level, of course, but whether it was weekly choir rehearsals or months of meetings to work out event details, I had regular activities that helped me know where I was, in a very real sense.
But in this strangest of years, the events are still happening, but virtually. So there’s no rehearsing, no in-person, hands-on details for a music minister to wrap their mind around.
Most of our time now is spent finding videos of past performances that are appropriate for sharing during Sunday service. In fact, it’s early March and I find myself surprised that in a few days it will be Yogananda’s Mahasamadhi. That could never have happened when we were actually meeting as a choir and singing.
So, yeah.
No anchors and rudderless, I’ve lost my bearings, and feel completely at sea.