It’s taken a full five days, but the dust is settling a bit in terms of my personal upset and process. There are a few things that I’m now seeing with more clarity:
The Gift
Growing up without having to confront constant, overt racism meant that my sense of self was largely free from identification with the issue of racism. I’m deeply grateful for this.
The Work
But because I wasn’t constantly confronted with overt racism, I was largely able to avoid facing up to it. These past few days have helped me understand how important it is that I let myself see how much I was affected by racism, and allow myself to feel the collective pain.
The Sad Reality
One of the most helpful things I’ve learned at Ananda is the concept that reason follows feeling. Which means that logic becomes irrelevant when feelings are fully engaged and passions run high. Which leads to…
The Impossibility
Having my sun in Gemini means that “communication” is BIG for me. There’s a part of me that really does believe that if “they“ just got to know me and we could just talk, then I could make “them” understand! But that’s the very definition of prejudice, isn’t it? Who I am is irrelevant; I’m never going to convince a true bigot that I’m worth knowing.
So another helpful thing I’ve learned at Ananda is the importance of focusing one’s energies on those who are positive and open and willing, while ignoring — whenever possible — those who are negative and derogatory (obviously, if someone is not just negative but threatening, you can’t ignore them!).
There are many people who want to understand, who want to help, who want to be part of the solution. If we focus our energy and resources on strengthening and nurturing these connections, we’ll increase our magnetism and build the momentum…and I have faith that change will happen as a result.