Tag: Rachel Macy Stafford

I’ve shared blog posts from this writer before, though it’s been a while. But this one really hit home for me.

Reading it brought to mind memories of how bad I felt for some of my dearest friends in high school because they struggled with academics and felt “less than” someone like me, for whom good grades came easily.

Mind you, I wasn’t really learning that much more than they did. I simply had an aptitude for test taking and knowing what teachers wanted to hear.

My friend, Linda, worked so hard all the time and got C’s while I took home A’s. I so admired the way she created beauty around her in everything she did, but in her mind that didn’t count for anything.

In those moments I knew in my heart there was something wrong with the whole school paradigm and it made me rather cynical for a long time.

Anyway, this is a long blog post, but I think it’s well worth reading — especially if you have anything to do with teenagers.

“Dear Rachel, I’ve read #LiveLoveNow, and it helped so much. No more ranting at my child. Instead, I’ve become her sounding board, able to listen and offer pieces of advice. I listened to the audio book and towards the end, there was a message you gave your daughter about academic pressure. Can you please tell me where in the book that is? I’d like to write it down for my daughter. Thank you for your words of wisdom that helped me be better.”

Messages like these give me life. I sent the parent the passage she described, and I am overjoyed to know she is using it as a template to write a personal affirmation for her child.

On page 232 of #LiveLoveNow, I write:

“There is a great, big world outside the walls of your school and academic life…
a world where skills like relating, managing, critical thinking, leadership, risk-taking, and initiative are needed…
where attributes like compassion, integrity, perseverance, honesty, and ambition will needed to make important changes and breakthroughs happen.
And there you will be, using your skills and your attributes to better the world.
I will never let grades, scores, or reports let us lose sight of your purpose or potential.”

My friends, these words are not just “words in a book.”

I remember exactly where I was standing in my house and what time of day it was when these words were born. My daughter had come home from school visibly upset. In a moment of deep self-doubt and fear for her future, I said those words to her. And I immediately knew they meant something when this teenager, who is not much of a hugger, collapsed into my arms. I had the privilege of feeling my daughter’s breathing return to normal. That’s what can happen when we speak of possibilities instead of limitations.

We can start with these seldom mentioned truths many kids could use right now.

Average grades do not mean you are an average person.
Below-average grades do not mean you will have a below-average life.
You are more than the grades you receive.
You are more than what you achieved today.
There is more than one path to success and prosperity.

Written by Rachel Macy Stafford
Author of “LIVE LOVE NOW: Relieve the Pressure & Find Real Connection with Our Kids Today”