September 15 health update

Hi all, 

This is a pretty brief update. 

Basically, the nurses and doctors tell us that I’m doing very well. Throughout the high dose chemo and yesterday’s stem cell transplant, my vital signs remained steady, I didn’t spike any fevers, the quantities of IV fluids didn’t compromise my heart or lungs, etc. 

However…! There’s no escaping the reality of chemo side effects (so far mostly incipient nausea and fatigue) and low blood counts (more fatigue). It’s very strange to feel soooo tired, especially as it’s expected to get even worse before it gets better. 

In my last update, I wrote: From that point on, it’s simply a matter of managing any side effects from the chemo and waiting for my stem cells to get to work rebuilding my immune system. 

What I’m realizing now is that it’s not so simple. Not having energy is a serious downer and I can feel the pull to worry about how much worse it could get. So then I have to breathe in and out in order to stay in the present moment. Because, since I can’t bypass this process, I have to keep raising my energy to embrace the karma. 

I also want to say how much I appreciate all the messages of support — emails, e-cards, texts, poems, gifts, stories, you name it! I wish I could keep up with replying to each one, but I know you all understand it’s not possible. 

Transplant was Day 0, so now I’m on Day +1. There probably won’t be much more to share until I get past Day +5. Thank you for your continuing prayers.

Lots and lots of love! 💖

Embracing spring in the here and now

On my walk the other day I started to rejoice at the daffodils and the blossoms on the fruit trees and the increased bird song. Then right afterwards I caught myself fretting about how we didn’t get enough rain yet and what about fire season and so on and so forth.

I was shocked to realize that for the first time in my life I was denying myself the joys and pleasures of spring, for fear of what the future might hold.

Well, I immediately got a hold of myself with a strong reminder that there is only this present moment. The truth is, none of us is even guaranteed a future, so why waste NOW!

Jesus put it pretty well…
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
–Matthew 6:34