A prayer card for Mary

Mary Kretzmann touched an amazing number of souls in the more than four decades that she led Ananda’s Healing Prayer Ministry. The outpouring of love, prayers, tributes, and stories from all around the world has been deeply inspiring.

There was a beautiful service for Mary last night and today I wanted to share this beautiful prayer card that was created by Dinah, a member of Ananda’s Virtual Community.

It’s all been very moving.

Thinking of my friend

My dear friend, Nandadevi, is in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Her heart has been acting a little funny, so she’s getting it checked out.

I saved this photo and quote quite some time ago — like, at least a couple of years!

Now feels like the perfect moment to share it, while holding the vision of her standing calmly in the light and love of Divine Mother.

September 15 health update

Hi all, 

This is a pretty brief update. 

Basically, the nurses and doctors tell us that I’m doing very well. Throughout the high dose chemo and yesterday’s stem cell transplant, my vital signs remained steady, I didn’t spike any fevers, the quantities of IV fluids didn’t compromise my heart or lungs, etc. 

However…! There’s no escaping the reality of chemo side effects (so far mostly incipient nausea and fatigue) and low blood counts (more fatigue). It’s very strange to feel soooo tired, especially as it’s expected to get even worse before it gets better. 

In my last update, I wrote: From that point on, it’s simply a matter of managing any side effects from the chemo and waiting for my stem cells to get to work rebuilding my immune system. 

What I’m realizing now is that it’s not so simple. Not having energy is a serious downer and I can feel the pull to worry about how much worse it could get. So then I have to breathe in and out in order to stay in the present moment. Because, since I can’t bypass this process, I have to keep raising my energy to embrace the karma. 

I also want to say how much I appreciate all the messages of support — emails, e-cards, texts, poems, gifts, stories, you name it! I wish I could keep up with replying to each one, but I know you all understand it’s not possible. 

Transplant was Day 0, so now I’m on Day +1. There probably won’t be much more to share until I get past Day +5. Thank you for your continuing prayers.

Lots and lots of love! 💖

Biopsy update: prayer works!

We treated ourselves to a quick stop at the river on our way home after the biopsy

I am very happy to report that this morning’s bone marrow biopsy went extremely well. 

We arrived in good time (despite the early hour); they were ready for us right away; the doctor, nurses, and technician were all great — positive, competent, easy to understand; and — most amazing of all — the pain level felt like maybe a quarter of what it was the last time I had a bone marrow biopsy!

There can be no question that the prayers pouring in from all around the world made all the difference. I felt completely calm and while the procedure was actually underway I was able to focus on opening up to receive the blessings of all those prayers.

Interestingly enough, the nurse overlooked the note in my chart about giving me the same painkiller as during my previous biopsy. I didn’t think about it until I was already prepped for the procedure, but turns out it was totally unnecessary. 

We’re pretty convinced that the nurse missing that note was divine grace; it left my mind clear so I could be fully present to the experience of supportive calmness that surrounded me.

We were only there for about an hour, from start to finish. After all the anticipation and dread of the pain it was almost a little anticlimactic — for which I am exceedingly grateful!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 💗

July 20 health update

It’s been a while since my last health update because there hasn’t really been much of anything new to share.

We’re moving full speed ahead towards the bone marrow transplant, which means a lot of “pre-op” appointments (pulmonary function test, echocardiogram, EKG, chest x-ray, etc).

We definitely have a place to stay for our six weeks in Sacramento (a five-minute walk from the hospital).

I continue to feel really well. My current focus is to do as much as I can to raise my energy, increase my magnetism, and open up to divine grace. This is in order to better achieve my goal of rebuilding my immune system and being fully recovered in record-breaking time. 

All that said, there is one requirement in preparation for the transplant that I’m definitely not thrilled about, which is doing another bone marrow biopsy. They have to get right inside the bone and aspirate (or suction up) the marrow, and — although it only lasts for about 10-15 seconds — it’s really, really painful because there’s no way to “numb” you inside the bone. 

I survived the process once, and I’m also reminding myself that I’ve successfully walked on hot coals, as well as giving birth. I know I can do it, however extra prayers this Friday, July 22 from 8:30am-10:30am (PDT) would be very welcome! 

With much love and gratitude always. 🙏💖

Overdue health update

When I first started on this healing journey, we had no idea what to expect. But now that I’m a couple of months into it, I’m very happy to report the following:

  • My energy is holding steady. In fact, I’ve actually been able to maintain close to my usual schedule. Well, except for allowing extra time to rest and making sleep a priority. And except for driving to town at least twice a week for medical appointments.
  • We’ve been able to maintain the momentum of the music ministry. This Friday we’re doing a full LIVE performance of Swami Kriyananda’s Oratorio: Christ Lives! for the first time since 2019, and for the first time ever in the Temple of Light, and I’m well enough to fully participate!
  • Thanks to radiation, I’m regaining full movement of my right shoulder.
  • I’ve received so many prayers, voicemails, text messages, emails, cards, gifts, articles, suggestions, you name it — all of them filled with love and many of them very helpful — that it’s actually been somewhat overwhelming and I haven’t been able to respond as I would wish. I’m sure everyone understands, but I just want to say that, once the Oratorio is over and things slow down again, I look forward to slowly being in touch with all my well-wishers around the world!

What else can I say? Yes, I have cancer, but I am also well and strong and happy and very, very blessed.

Prayers sent & fingers crossed

This is a photo of the sweet Airbnb cottage in Santa Barbara that we’ve rented for five nights starting this Sunday.

Except we just learned there’s a fire about 26 miles from Santa Barbara, which could very likely affect the air quality!

What a bummer to drive all that way and not be able to spend as much time as we want outside. On the other hand, I really don’t want to cancel our vacation!

Ergo, prayers sent and fingers crossed!

Ready to catch some zzzz’s

Don’t know if it’s lingering vaccination fatigue or the five(!) loads of laundry I did today. Or maybe it’s a combination of the two.

Whatever the reason, I’ve been dragging off and on all day. Now I’m fully ready to say my prayers and hit the sack. 😴

Praying for my little brother

My youngest brother suffers from Huntington’s Disease, which has been passed down on my mother’s side of the family for generations. Huntington’s is a rare, inherited disease that causes the progressive breakdown (degeneration) of nerve cells in the brain. There are treatments for symptoms, but no cure.

Jonathan tested positive over ten years ago, but the reality of the disease is becoming more and more…well, real. In fact, I was planning to write about how he was recently hospitalized with some complications and the issues he’s facing. But I realize that all I really want to say right now is: please pray.

For Jonathan; his wife, Jessica; and their daughter, Janaya. And for my Dad, my sister, and our other two brothers. Thank you. 🙏