The moment we knew

An almost completely empty Temple of Light at Ananda Village, about halfway through the pandemic year, before we had to discontinue live worship services altogether.

There’s been a lot of reflecting these past few days on having reached the one year anniversary of the “official” start of the global pandemic. Many of the articles have to do with people remembering the moment when they finally “got it” that the virus was a game-changer and we were all headed into absolutely unknown territory.

For me it wasn’t one moment but a series of inexorable steps in the process of coming to terms with the unimaginable.

We were in full scale Oratorio preparations — our very first in the new Temple of Light! Rehearsals were going well and we were all so excited. We had a rehearsal on March 10, the day before the WHO announcement. Needless to say, we haven’t had a full choir rehearsal since.

At first I was scrambling to find a solution; I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility of not being able to present the Oratorio. Maybe we could reduce the size of the choir. Maybe we could spread out. Maybe we could do it with just eight singers and no further rehearsal. Of course, our Village management team and medical advisors weren’t taking any chances.

No Oratorio, period.

Then I read the article about the infamous choir in Washington state, where a full three-quarters of the singers became ill with COVID-19 after a rehearsal in which they sat farther apart than usual, didn’t share music, and really tried to be careful. Several choir members died.

I guess if there was a moment, that was it.

I certainly can’t complain about this past year. I live in a beautiful rural setting; in a loving and supportive spiritual community; with a husband that I actually enjoyed being “stuck” with day after week after month(!); and we’ve stayed completely healthy.

There’s also been incredible, expansive growth on so many levels, for which I am very grateful. But my heart isn’t completely whole and I’m not entirely myself without making music with fellow singers and musicians, then sharing it with the world.

Soon, soon…