(not necessarily in that order)
How fun to run across this photo so soon after our recent time in Los Angeles!
It was taken in 2012 or 2013, not long after Ananda’s movie Finding Happiness came out. We were only six of the thirteen ashram residents, plus two guests: Shivani, who lived at the ashram for several months while manifesting the movie; and Brian, who worked on the film as the steadicam operator.
Living in LA wasn’t always easy, but this brings back some real good memories.
I can’t quite lay it all to rest without sharing these last couple of photos.
First, my senior picture. Amazing how the now “me” looks at the then “me” and can’t completely comprehend any difference. Because underneath I’m just always the same “me!”
The second photo is from my 10th high school reunion, which I attended with my then-husband, Randy. Looking at it now, I marvel at how grown up I thought I was at 28 years old!
Of course I remember that I used to play saxophone (baritone and then alto), but it was a vague, abstract kind of remembering.
I had completely forgotten about competing at this jazz band festival, but seeing these photos brought it all back in a visceral sort of way.
It’s also interesting to remember the full context. This was my senior year but I had spent five weeks of the previous summer traveling throughout Europe with the Blue Saints Honor Jazz Band.
I’m pretty sure I was in a bit of an existential crisis being back at my small high school after having had such bigger and broader experiences.
Our three years of living in LA seems like another lifetime. Especially considering that we haven’t been here since 2017 — a full seven years and a pandemic ago!
The constant background noise is hard to believe after so long away. On the other hand, many sweet memories came to mind as we drove into the heart of the city.
It’s great to be back… temporarily!
We’re working with Crystal Clarity Publishers on an upcoming project and needed some detailed information about the “Joy Is God” recording that we did in Ananda Assisi back in 2005.
Our memories were fuzzy so I had to search and search until I found a copy of the CD with the original liner notes (it’s changed several times since it first came out). And what a find!
We were ensconced for two days in Swami Kriyananda’s home near the Assisi retreat center (he was in India). Our recording engineer drove down from Lugano in a van containing his mobile recording studio, which he parked outside Swamiji’s house.
The musicians were from Italy, Switzerland, the Netherlands, and America — all of them dear friends and great devotees. I wish we could have remained close to all of them, but almost twenty years have passed and it’s not easy to stay connected when you lead busy lives on separate continents.
What I love most of all is this shot of Ramesha and me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen myself looking happier than in this photo.
Joy is God, indeed!
This afternoon I was skimming an article in the SF Chronicle about iconic San Francisco buildings, of which the Transamerica Pyramid is one of the most recognizable.
I have no particular connection with that building — apart from it being part of the distinctive SF skyline — and downtown was never my favorite part of the City. So, I was a little surprised to be hit by a strong wave of nostalgia as I gazed at the photo.
But on top of that, there was another article about the future of the Cliff House, which WAS one of my absolute most favorite locations in all of San Francisco.
So many beautiful memories…
“Buon Ferragosto!” is what I’m seeing everywhere I look on Facebook today.
It brings back memories of Ananda Assisi’s busiest season, as well as of monumental traffic jams when we (occasionally) forgot and made the mistake of traveling on the actual day. Not a good idea.
Fortunately, the memories are mostly very sweet.
But what exactly is Ferragosto? It’s a public holiday that originated back in 18 BC (that’s a really long time ago!) and is still celebrated throughout Italy on August 15th.
The name translates to Feriae (Festival) Augusti (for Augustus, the Roman emperor). Emperor Augustus made August 1st a day of rest after laborers had spent weeks working hard on the farms and in the fields.
The custom was for the workers to wish their employers “Buon Ferragosto” and receive a monetary bonus in return. This became law during the Renaissance throughout the papal states.
Then, starting around the 5th century, the Catholic Church moved the observance of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary to the same date. For observant Catholics in countries like Italy, Spain, Greece, Mexico, etc., August 15 is right up there with Easter and Christmas.
August 15 also just happens to be the birthday of one of my favorite humans: our friend and colleague in the music ministry, Jeannie! 💖
…are the many photos from our trip to Europe that I haven’t yet found the time to organize and share!
I was reminded of the fact when I stumbled on this photo of the house where Ramesha was living when I first moved to Switzerland.
We hadn’t been in that neighborhood in maybe ten years, but it sure brought back lots of memories.
I spent a fair amount of time this morning talking on the phone with a friend who’s dealing with a serious cancer diagnosis and difficult treatment scenario. She’ll probably be facing a stem cell transplant in a few weeks and wanted to talk with me about my experience.
I was happy to answer questions, listen to her concerns, and just generally offer support. What I didn’t anticipate was how our conversation would make me realize how distanced I felt from an experience that was unbelievably intense at the time.
It brought to mind something I read just the other day (can’t remember where, unfortunately), about how — while our human brains will remember that something was painful — we can’t actually feel that pain again (which must be why women are able to give birth multiple times).
Of course, it all started coming back to me as I dredged up my memories. And I suddenly realized that this time last year I was in full-on transplant preparation mode.
To bring it into clearer focus, I went back to my July 2022 calendar and discovered that from July 11-29 I had twenty different medical appointments — from lab draws and chemo infusions; to oncologist, cardiology, pulmonary, and physical therapy appointments; culminating in my second bone marrow biopsy.
And now? It’s hard to believe all that really happened.
Rather strange, actually.
It was almost exactly seventeen years ago that Ramesha and I packed up our Pregassona (Lugano) apartment and put everything in storage.
He had taken a leave of absence from his middle school teaching job, and we were heading off to live in California for one year — mainly so he could experience some established Ananda communities.
Of course, as most of you know, we were asked to stay and be part of the music ministry at Ananda Village, which meant that on our visits to Switzerland we had to gradually get rid of all that stuff.
Year after year we gave things away; transported what we could to America in suitcases; consolidated what was left into a few storage locations, and — bit by bit — forgot we even owned a lot of the remaining items.
But we recently decided that — for various reasons — this would be the year when we finally emptied the last few storage areas.
It wasn’t easy. First of all, it’s amazing how you can not have thought of something for over fifteen years, but then you see it–! And you immediately remember how much you liked it and how much it means to you and you’re suddenly as attached to it as if you had been using it every day for the past decade (and it’s a thousand times harder when it was a gift). 🤦♀️
The solution in this case was to find new homes for certain items. That way we feel good about passing them along to people we love.
The other challenging aspect of this is that one of the final storage spots was the “locale” (or studio) where Ramesha’s band used to rehearse. When I first moved to Lugano, I would go to rehearsal with him, studying my Italian while wearing earplugs.
At this point, Ramesha hasn’t sung with the band in forever; the band itself broke up a number of years ago; and his friend, Dudo, will very soon be letting go of the locale altogether.
So. yeah… it’s been a little sad and nostalgic, because today was about letting go of some precious memories and releasing some strong attachments. But it was time.
