November 26 health addendum

I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to learn that I’m particularly grateful for some very specific things this Thanksgiving season.

  1. I’m grateful for my primary care physician — Amy Nielsen at Sierra Family Medical Center — for connecting the dots that led to my cancer diagnosis a little less than a year ago.
  2. I’m grateful for the excellent care I received at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital, in the oncology, radiation, and infusion departments.
  3. I’m grateful for every person on the apheresis and bone marrow transplant teams at UC Davis Medical Center.
  4. I’m grateful for Dr. Lena Suhaila, my naturopathic integrative oncologist, and for her guidance in addressing the more subtle and holistic aspects of healing. 
  5. I’m grateful for every single doctor, specialist, nurse, lab technician, pharmacist, or other medical professional I encountered throughout my journey.
  6. I’m grateful for the hundreds of people from around the world, and from every area (and era) of my life, who prayed, sent encouraging letters and emails, or otherwise supported my process.
  7. I’m grateful for the teachings and practices of my spiritual path that provided the tools I needed to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude.
  8. I’m grateful for the music of Ananda which has been an important part of my healing process.
  9. I’m grateful for the financial assistance from many organizations and individuals that allowed me to focus on healing without stressing about the expense.
  10. Last but not least, I’m grateful for Ramesha, for my Dad, and for my friend, Suzanne. They’ve been my rocks throughout this experience and, in my Dad’s case, throughout my life. 

I also want to take this opportunity to let everyone know that I’m doing extremely well physically. It’s true that I still have to be careful to avoid viral infections (as my immune system comes fully back online), but my energy is so good that the only other “danger” I have to guard against is slipping back into “normal” mode too quickly. 

Why? Because my usual tendency has always been to neglect the subtle and holistic self-care elements that can lead to deeper levels of healing. And I feel one of the major lessons of this whole experience has been to wake me up to the absolute importance of true self-care. So, I’m working on it!

I love and appreciate each and every one of you, and hope you’ve enjoyed a blessed Thanksgiving, filled with an abundance of love and joy.

The picture gets bigger

As my cancer journey continues, with its added detours and diversions, the “picture” (aka my understanding of what it is actually going on) keeps getting bigger.

So, today I’m unexpectedly aware that there are phases to this process. Duh! 😄

Phase 1 was about –

  • Leading from strength (for me, that means positivity, optimism, raising energy, healing through singing, doing my dharma, focusing on serving the music ministry)
  • A tremendous outpouring of loving prayer support
  • Some “ignorance is bliss” (it was impossible to comprehend everything all at once, definitely leaving gaps in my understanding that kept me from appreciating the full seriousness of the diagnosis, which was probably a good thing!)
  • Going gangbusters for two full months (no problem with chemo, sailing through radiation, way exceeding my personal goals for the Oratorio) — then HELLO Phase 2

Phase 2 (where I’m at now) is about –

  • Acknowledging and embracing weaknesses
  • Accepting and embracing the lessons cancer is encouraging me to learn (for me, that means slowing down, making time to do the inner work, seeking guidance, feeling the feelings, resolving old griefs and pain, being vulnerable, asking for help)
  • Being practical in my idealism (working with what is, not what I wish it could be)
  • Making big decisions
  • Always hanging on to my strengths of positivity and optimism, etc. throughout the process, even during these ickier parts

And so it begins

The preliminaries are done; now I embark on the next stage of the adventure.

And an adventure truly is what it feels like.

I can’t help wondering who I’ll be once I reach the other end of the journey, though I’m quite certain I’ll find many treasures along the way.

What my soul was needing

I had no idea what Disney Plus was until I read a review for the new Pixar movie, “Soul,” and learned that Disney Plus was the only way to see it.

After a quick Google search to educate myself, I decided that it would be well worth signing up for the streaming platform just for that one movie alone. Then we got busy and “Soul” slipped off my radar…until tonight.

Which is an example of divine timing, because it was the absolute perfect ending to a challenging week, being literally what my soul needed.

What can I say? It’s not just that it’s all so extremely well done. It’s also that virtually every aspect of the story held a deep resonance for me — from band class and jazz clubs to metaphysics and family relationships — it all rang true.

And when it was over, I felt drained in that special way that happens when a movie really takes you on a journey, and you come back having had an experience that changed you from the inside out.

Please see it.

A single step

A friend responded to yesterday’s blog post by reminding me of the quote: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and it got me thinking…

So many times it seems that we finally take that single step and get started on our journey only to run out of steam and collapse by the wayside. Or take a wrong turn and lose our way. Or decide to turn around and head right back to where we started!

But the truth is that we can always start again!

We can stand back up after we’ve rested for a while and take another single step to start again. We can consult a map, get back to the main road, and with a single step resume our journey in the right direction. And, even if seems like we’re all the way back at our starting point, we can once again take a single step and start the journey again.

I’m really heartened and encouraged by this idea today!