No matter how much planning I try to do in the weeks and months beforehand, I can never seem to escape the feeling of overwhelm that hits in the last week before a trip to Europe.
And going at Christmas time makes things even more intense.
So, the only thing to do is to practice — with great intensity! — remembering that God Is the Doer. Not me.
The Heavenly Father knows exactly what’s needed. Divine Mother is lovingly supporting me every step of the way.
My work is to get still, ask for help, listen, and take action according to whatever guidance I receive. Over and over and over again.
Swami Kriyananda left his body on April 21, 2013 — eleven years ago today.
I didn’t respond well when we learned that he had died. We were living in the Ananda LA ashram and it was late on Saturday night when the email arrived from Lakshman. Ramesha read it aloud and I immediately replied: “NO!” — then repeated it emphatically again and again.
I just couldn’t believe it was true.
I still miss him very much, but at the same time I have moments of knowing that he’s with me just as much — or even more — than before.
The challenge is to be more aware of his presence from moment to moment, especially when I’m feeling confused or struggling to understand my next steps. Because when I consciously tune in, he’s right there…guiding me.
In fact, as we celebrate his life on the anniversary of his passing, I’m reminded that one of my intentions while we’re in Lugano is to find (or more accurately, take) the time to get still and ask Swamiji to help me find clarity about the top priorities for Ananda’s music ministry.
I’m definitely feeling an increasing sense of urgency to understand and then accomplish that which is truly mine to do in support of this gift to the world with which we’ve been entrusted — Ananda Music.
Tomorrow is our second Music Ministry retreat of the year.
Which just goes to show how much shifting, changing, developing, and growing is going on, while we do our best to catch up, seek guidance, and tune into Master’s and Swami’s will for Ananda Music. 🙏
The music team had an inspiring meeting with three of our spiritual mentors this afternoon. I’m always uplifted in their presence, but it’s especially powerful when they’re giving us guidance, encouragement, and suggestions for our work with the music ministry.
But as I was reflecting on all the wonderful projects and future ideas ahead of us, I realized that there’s only one real obstacle to my being able to successfully serve God and Gurus in this way….and that’s ME.
Yep, the usual doubts: can I do it? will it be enough? — blah, blah, blah.
So, I remembered this wonderful poem by Marianne Williamson (often incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela) and decided it was time to read it again (and again and again…).
Ramesha and I are in the process of launching a new project together. Except that I’m realizing it’s actually kind of an old project, in the sense that it’s partly a resumption of what we thought we were going to do when we arrived from Switzerland in 2006.
Shortly after our Assisi wedding (two years earlier) we felt guided to unite our energies also musically by becoming an actual ensemble. We decided to call ourselves the Harmony Duo as a way of acknowledging and honoring how we were different (in race, nationality, language, and background) yet completely harmonious.
As we started working on our current next steps I felt compelled to search house and office until I located this little notebook, filled with the plans we had for the duo back then.
And we did do some of it…before getting caught up in lots of other wonderful life adventures. Now we’re feeling guided to tune back into those original plans…and we’ll see where it leads us!
