We were living in Los Angeles ten years ago when the email arrived saying Swamiji had left his body.
My immediate response was utter denial: “NO!”
Now I can hardly believe it’s the ten year anniversary of Swamiji’s Moksha day. Although I miss being in his presence — hearing his laugh, seeing his smile — at the same time it feels like he hasn’t really gone away at all.
Maybe he’s not right in front of me, but it’s as though he’s simply visiting a different Ananda community at the moment (a very long moment!).
And maybe we’re no longer receiving emails and messages from him, but he’s still managing to instruct us in what we should do.
Thank you, Swamiji. My loving gratitude is yours forever.
It’s taken me until today to finally feel the reality of starting a new year.
2022 was definitely another doozy of a year and we’re quite content to release it, with deep gratitude for its blessings, lessons, and tremendous spiritual growth.
Now it’s time to look ahead to 2023, which I pray will be filled with boundless love, infinite joy, vibrant health, and abundant prosperity for us all!
We invite you to click HERE to view our Christmas card (or if you’d rather skip the beautiful imagery, you can simply read the message below). 😊
Our hearts are filled with gratitude for all the loving support we received from our family and friends throughout this past year.
Our prayer this Christmas is that you and yours may be filled to overflowing with the love, peace, and joy of this blessed season.
Here’s to a healthy and happy 2023!
Love,
Bhagavati (Sharon) & Ramesha (Fabio)
P.S. In 2020 we made a last minute recording of “O Holy Night” in our living room, intending to share it as a little Christmas gift. However, we just stumbled on the mp3 and it seems we didn’t share it after all. 🤦♀️ So here it is!
Greetings to all my prayer warrior friends and family!
There really isn’t much of anything to say at this point about my health per se, except that I feel almost completely normal.
I can think of only two physical reminders of the experience I went through so recently: the fact that I’m bald (although my hair is slowly making a comeback) and the fact that I still get slightly more tired than I used to.
I’ve been on disability since the end of August and will continue for a few more months (as needed). Even though my energy is back, I understand that my body needs to finish healing on deep and subtle levels. This means that I won’t yet be resuming my full responsibilities in the music office. However, I will be performing as much as possible because singing and serving as a channel for the music is incredibly healing for me.
In the next week or so I’ll begin a nourishing cleanse, guided by my naturopathic integrative oncologist. I’m also looking forward to being able to resume taking the nutritional supplements which I had to stop during the BMT process. All in all, while I’m deeply appreciative of what medical science has done for me, I’m ready to take a more holistic approach to my health and healing for the time being.
Besides continued physical healing, I also need to focus on allowing time to process and integrate; to catch up on those areas of my life that had been pushed into the background; and to figure out how to apply the lessons learned on this journey as I move forward into the future.
I don’t expect to be writing any more of these updates, although you’re welcome to check out my daily blog if you like. It’s titled Music.Life.Joy. and is nothing momentous; just my musings on things that occur to me from day to day — some more significant than others.
Well, that’s it for now. My heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you that have traveled this road with me. It truly has been a tremendous blessing.
I’m extremely happy to have very little to report in this update.😄
It’s been two weeks since the AFib incident, with no further episodes. I’ve added back in regular energization, as well as gradually increasing the pace and distance of my morning and evening walks. The opening in my chest where the catheter was is healing well; there’s just a regular Band-Aid on it now and even that will be gone in another couple of days.
Yesterday was my final doctor’s appointment and I’m officially done! I can go for walks without wearing a mask and as of next week I can start eating in restaurants again. The doctors are no longer overly concerned about food restrictions, but I still have to avoid people (or crowds of them at least).
A week from tomorrow we’ll drive to Pacific Grove to stay in a house near the ocean for five days. A chance to relax and unwind in order to begin the process of integrating this amazingly intense period.
And then we’ll finally be homeward bound — after a full two months away. I can hardly wait.
Thank you again and again for the love, the prayers, the emails, the notes, the gifts, the voicemails, the insights, and endless support. We couldn’t have done it without you. 💖
Deep gratitude to Rachel Macy Stafford of The Hands Free Revolution; this really speaks to me right now.
When I was sick for 17 days in July… I was reminded that I like to take baths and washing my hair by laying down in the tub offers instant serenity. I’m not gonna wait ‘til I am sick to wash my hair in the tub again.
When I was sick for 17 days in July… I was reminded that I like apple juice. My older daughter remembered this fact from a surgery I had 7 summers ago. For a moment, old, damaging beliefs about juice being “bad” tried to interfere. But in the end, love won because juice has no moral value, and I trust my body knows what it needs. I’m not gonna wait ‘til I am sick to drink apple juice again.
When I was sick for 17 days in July… I was reminded that I like shows that allow me to ‘pretend-buy’ a new house. I got REALLY invested in the show, Beachfront Bargain Hunt. I found myself tearing up during the “3 months later…” update as if it were MY family happily settled into their new home. I’m not gonna wait ‘til I am sick to watch Beachfront Bargain Hunt to enjoy pretend-picking MY dream bungalow.
When I was sick for 17 days in July… I was reminded that I like my cat’s daily schedule. Noticing I was unusually inactive, Banjo coached me on the joys of not getting dressed, “exercising” by bird watching, and napping whenever the mood struck. I’m not gonna wait ‘til I am sick to have a leisurely Cat Day again.
When I was sick for 17 days in July… I was reminded that I like being cared for, which means accepting help, receiving flowers for my bedside, and getting check ins from friends that say, “No need to respond. Just wanted you to feel my love.” I’m not gonna wait ‘til I am sick to allow myself to be cared for again.
When I was sick for 17 days in July… I was reminded that I like not feeling guilty for honoring my need for rest and quiet. While focused on healing during that time, I found something valuable within. I am not gonna wait until I am sick to turn off the world and tend to my needs.
My friends, what do you like—I mean REALLY like? Sometimes it takes forced rest to remember what comforts us most. But let’s not wait until our bodies give out to eat, play, hydrate, and rest as we like. We are worthy of having our needs met NOW.
Today we got to visit with Jyotish and Devi poolside at Crystal Hermitage gardens, just a few days before they travel to Italy and then India for three and a half months.
We feel so honored to be able to call these great souls our friends. And our gratitude for their wisdom, clarity, humor, and love knows no bounds.
While the nurse was inserting my IV this afternoon I happened to glance over at Ramesha and was overwhelmed by a wave of gratitude for this man.
Since February he’s driven to (and sat in on) virtually all of my medical appointments. He keeps track of the medical receipts and co-pays. And for a full six months he’s been organizing his teaching and business schedule around my needs.
I truly don’t know how I would have done this without him.
In other news, I’m completely over yesterday’s weird stomach thing. What a relief to have my full energy back once again!
And, we’re all done with the extra pre-op tests, many of which were long and involved, and took a lot of finagling to fit into our schedule. Yay!
Earlier tonight we enjoyed excerpts from the Peace Treaty, then there’s Sunday service tomorrow, and that’s it!
My predominant thought as this deeply inspiring week draws to a close is immense gratitude — yet again! — to Swami Kriyananda, for the gift of spiritual community, for the music of Ananda, and for the example of discipleship and a life lived for God that he gave us.
When I was sick for 17 days in July…
