Last year at this time

I spent a fair amount of time this morning talking on the phone with a friend who’s dealing with a serious cancer diagnosis and difficult treatment scenario. She’ll probably be facing a stem cell transplant in a few weeks and wanted to talk with me about my experience.

I was happy to answer questions, listen to her concerns, and just generally offer support. What I didn’t anticipate was how our conversation would make me realize how distanced I felt from an experience that was unbelievably intense at the time.

It brought to mind something I read just the other day (can’t remember where, unfortunately), about how — while our human brains will remember that something was painful — we can’t actually feel that pain again (which must be why women are able to give birth multiple times).

Of course, it all started coming back to me as I dredged up my memories. And I suddenly realized that this time last year I was in full-on transplant preparation mode.

To bring it into clearer focus, I went back to my July 2022 calendar and discovered that from July 11-29 I had twenty different medical appointments — from lab draws and chemo infusions; to oncologist, cardiology, pulmonary, and physical therapy appointments; culminating in my second bone marrow biopsy.

And now? It’s hard to believe all that really happened.

Rather strange, actually.

Excellent advice

A friend responded to yesterday’s blog post about “juggling” with an always appropriate and deeply appreciated reminder:

“When in doubt breathe in, breathe out, and keep repeating.”

Truly excellent advice.

My friend wrote a book!

How cool is this?!?

Congratulations to Manisha, who’s been a dear friend ever since we both were newly arrived in the Ananda Palo Alto community back in the late 90’s.

I can’t wait to read it (there are two copies because one’s for Dad).

Wisdom from a friend

A rose for my friend, Rose 💗

I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in some time, comparing notes on life and its lessons.

We got pretty philosophical, agreeing on the importance of not being overly focused on oneself. But then she shared something that I found extremely helpful.

Basically, she related how she had made the decision that: “If I’m going to think about myself, let it be something good.”

When she said that I immediately found myself reflecting on how the tendency is to spend tons of time focused on me, but almost all of it is negative self talk. It’s the worst of both worlds!

So, I’m going to adopt this as my own and practice telling myself good things about me.

Thinking of my friend

My dear friend, Nandadevi, is in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Her heart has been acting a little funny, so she’s getting it checked out.

I saved this photo and quote quite some time ago — like, at least a couple of years!

Now feels like the perfect moment to share it, while holding the vision of her standing calmly in the light and love of Divine Mother.

Perfect divine order

I love when Divine Mother puts me in just the right spot at just the right time, allowing me to know beyond all doubt that God is in charge.

Today it happened as I had finished running a few errands in the mailroom and was walking back to my car.

I heard my name and turned around to see a dear friend from Los Angeles getting out of her car to greet me. I knew she was coming for a visit but thought I might not see her because we’re going out of town tomorrow.

But there she was and we were able to have a short but deep time of connection.

And then it got even better!

We were literally the only two people at the (closed) Market, where she had stopped in hopes of getting directions to the home of the friend at whose home she was staying. So I was able to have her follow me to the location (which would have been way confusing to try and describe in words).

So, yeah. It’s wonderful to be reminded that all really is in perfect divine order. We just have to do our best to stay tuned in to that flow and let it guide us.

Go with love, Lizzie

Saying good-bye tonight to someone who I knew only for a short while “in person,” but we stayed connected on Facebook through multiple moves and numerous life challenges for the ten years or so that followed.

I followed her seemingly victorious battle with cancer and knew when it had come back. Just a few weeks ago she shared that she had made the decision to chose hospice over hospital-based care. She was at peace with making her transition.

Lizzie continued sharing her love and light until the very last, dying peacefully in the middle of sharing a prayer on Facebook. I find this so deeply inspiring; I don’t think she would mind me sharing it.

Aspiration to The Holy Family
Prayer:
Jesus, Mary and Joseph: I give Thee my heart and my soul.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph: assist me in my last agony.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, may I breath forth my soul in peace with Thee.

Go with love, dear Lizzie.

Overcoming resistance

Today was an overcoming resistance kind of day.

A day to support a friend, but within an uncomfortable context that was challenging for me.

And a day to knuckle down and do some important tasks that I’ve been majorly procrastinating about.

Grateful to have the day behind me and feeling good about what I accomplished! 💪

Ramesha’s deer friend

We often get deer passing through our front “yard” in the mornings. For a number of weeks there were a few fawns in the group, one of which seemed to have a real connection with Ramesha!

The fawn would come right up to our glass front door and gaze inside, not running away even when Ramesha would come and gaze back at him. It was really quite something, which I finally caught on camera but forgot to post. So here it is. 🦌