…all our music team members were back from our various travels and present at tonight’s rehearsal.
…the full choir was back at it, with everybody ready to dive into preparations for Spiritual Renewal Week.
The ensemble has actually been meeting and holding down the fort throughout the weeks when Ramesha and I (and also Dambara) were off traveling, but it was great to be back with them again.
And to make things extra fun, Pavani led us in dancing the Horah, in order to get the right unified feel for Swami’s song, “A New Tomorrow.”
I ran across some journaling notes, written about six years ago, evidently in a period of frustration at my lack of activity. I don’t recall the exact moment or what exactly I was feeling when making this list, but it certainly packs a wallop for me as I read it now. Especially considering the title I gave it:
ACTIVITIES I LOVED
tether ball monkey bars archery basketball gymnastics track dancing cheerleading hiking rebounding aerobics weight training bicycling swimming skipping yoga 150 sit-ups a day running on the beach walking, walking, walking
It wasn’t that I “loved” exercise; I didn’t even call it “exercise” — it was just having fun doing things…
Like… Challenging big, intimidating Tony to a tetherball showdown in 6th grade. Organizing my high school buddies to hike up into the foothills above Milpitas for a cookout. Riding my bicycle all over Sunnyvale (where I lived), to classes at DeAnza College, and (just once!) all the way to my boyfriend’s house in Los Altos. Spending two hours every day in the gym: aerobics; weight training; treadmill; loving to sweat!
It was just doing fun active things with my friends. Dancing at clubs til all hours of the night. Cranking up my stereo and dancing in my living room to Al Jarreau, Gino Vannelli, George Benson, Earth Wind & Fire. I felt GOOD in my body and enjoyed using it. Of course, I never ever thought I looked good enough, but — hey! — at least I felt strong and powerful and capable.
Things started to shift when I got “serious” about finishing my degree and becoming a flutist — spending hours in class, in the library, in the practice room, in rehearsals, in carpools traveling to gigs. Getting busier and busier, more and more out of balance, more and more stressed.
Eventually I started feeling the pressure to “exercise” in order to lose the weight that was creeping on. What did I know about metabolic syndrome and stress hormones and circadian rhythms and lack of sleep leading to weight gain, etc etc.?!? Bit by bit the fun and spontaneity went away and moving my body became a chore, a “should.” Yuck.
Sigh.
It’s hard to look back and realize that I pretty much had it all, but squandered it, largely due to ignorance and iffy self-esteem (all part of my karma, of course).
My recent blog post about dancer Bunny Briggs set me off on a voyage of discovery. I’ve loved dance forever, but I never knew there was something called “tap” and something called “rhythm tap” (a form of tap dance that includes percussive heel drops, instead of only emphasizing toe taps).
And I never knew about the men who were masters of this style of dancing. They’re quite amazing!
But here’s the thing. There is so much JOY happening when these guys dance! It’s palpable. They are having all caps FUN, but in a harmonious, cooperative, supportive, joyful kind of way.
I was marveling about this the first time I watched the second video below and then the thought came: “But I wonder what they were really like? Were they decent people? How did they treat their wives and children?” And I struggled a little bit over the age-old conflict of witnessing the ways an artist can achieve transcendence through their particular medium (dance, music, art) without being in any way a completely perfect being.
What I think, however, is that when a person gets a little taste of this kind of transcendent joy for even one moment, in just one area of their life, it makes a lasting impression. In some subtle way it leads to them wanting more.
And so the search begins, as we achieve perfection and transcendence first in this activity and then in that practice, getting another taste, another glimpse of the divine. Until we finally find the infinite love and joy we’ve been seeking by merging back into our true source.
