(not necessarily in that order)
I’ve been greatly enjoying all the hugs and laughter of connecting with friends (old and new) here at Ananda Assisi.
On the other hand, I’m also feeling deeply exhausted.
It seemed rather surprising until I took a moment to list all the people I’ve connected with in the past two days: it comes to over fifty!
No wonder I’m feeling burnt out.
I love when Divine Mother puts me in just the right spot at just the right time, allowing me to know beyond all doubt that God is in charge.
Today it happened as I had finished running a few errands in the mailroom and was walking back to my car.
I heard my name and turned around to see a dear friend from Los Angeles getting out of her car to greet me. I knew she was coming for a visit but thought I might not see her because we’re going out of town tomorrow.
But there she was and we were able to have a short but deep time of connection.
And then it got even better!
We were literally the only two people at the (closed) Market, where she had stopped in hopes of getting directions to the home of the friend at whose home she was staying. So I was able to have her follow me to the location (which would have been way confusing to try and describe in words).
So, yeah. It’s wonderful to be reminded that all really is in perfect divine order. We just have to do our best to stay tuned in to that flow and let it guide us.
Ramesha posted this photo last Sunday, in honor of the day — seventeen years ago! — when he asked me to marry him. I was focused on other things this past weekend, but it was such a sweet post (and so many people shared loving comments!) that I didn’t want to let it pass me by.
So, here goes yet another walk down memory lane…
As of the end of October we were officially “an item,” but spending time together wasn’t so easy, with me either serving at Ananda Assisi or touring with the Italy singers, while he worked in Lugano.
We managed to get together a couple of times in November, me taking the train to Lugano and him driving to where the singers were spending a weekend near Torino. This was also the month when Swami Kriyananda made the decision to move to India, which had us all in a certain amount of shock.
By this time, it was clear that I wouldn’t be joining Ramesha and other dear friends on the pilgrimage to India, so we had to accept the reality of spending our first Christmas and New Year’s apart. I made another train trip to Lugano in mid-December so we could celebrate our Christmas early; we were both pretty sad but did our best to look ahead to when I would travel north again to see him on his return.
He encountered flight delays, so I actually got to Lugano before he did and was able to welcome him home. My vacation time was only supposed to last two weeks, but was extended indefinitely due to the completely unexpected but quite serious legal drama being played out at the community in Assisi.
Though greatly concerned for our spiritual family, we couldn’t help feeling grateful for the opportunity — finally! — to spend a whole month together. In fact, as the weeks went by our relationship just got better in every way.
The singers had performances near Torino planned for Valentine’s weekend, so the plan was that Ramesha would drive me there, then I would go back to Assisi with the group.
I’ll never forget the Sunday before our planned departure. We had finished meditation, then enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. I was still in my comfortable but rather sloppy meditation T-shirt and leggings as we sat at the table talking; speaking of our hopes and dreams; and sharing deeply spiritual thoughts.
There was a sense of profound connection. Then Ramesha made a frustration kind of sound, said he’d be right back, returned with a little red box, and asked me to marry him. Just like that. He said his plan was to propose the following week on Valentine’s Day, but he just couldn’t wait.
And that’s our engagement story. 💘
Today I continued broadening my understanding of just what’s possible musically in this time of pandemic. I was particularly inspired to find videos by public school music teachers, sharing how they’re working with their students; they’re doing impressive things!
But I also found some videos and comments that were quite negative in their attitude toward “virtual choir” videos in general. On the one hand, I “get it” that the average person has absolutely no idea what goes into “virtual choir” videos. No, it isn’t a bunch of singers meeting on Zoom and simply singing together! No, it’s not happening “live”, in real time.
It’s labor-intensive and time consuming. And, no, it’s not remotely the same as singing together in the same room, feeling our connection in the present moment!
But I think a lot of these critical-minded singers and choir directors are in danger of throwing the baby out with the bath water. Because, you know what? There’s still a power that happens when you get a group of people singing together. Despite being separated by time and distance there’s a magic that can still happen.
No, it’s not the same as the in-person performing we love and are used to, but it’s real and valid and legitimate. And I’m so grateful for having the possibility to still join together in this way.
My sister shared this video with me today and I was struck by the perfect timing! Because I can feel the connection and power that these singers are conveying through this song. It comes through loud and clear, regardless of being “virtual” and “produced.” I hope you feel as blessed by it as I did.
The Blessing
The Lord bless you and keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His face toward you
And give you peace
A – men
Amen, Amen
A – men
Amen, Amen
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children and their children
May His presence go before you
And behind you and beside you
All around you and within you
He is with you he is with you
In the morning in the evening
In your coming and your going
In your weeping and rejoicing
He is for you He is for you
He is for you He is for you
He is for you He is for you
He is for you He is for you
He is for you He is for you
A – men
Amen, Amen
A – men
Amen, Amen