Our power is about to go out due to a major winter storm. Soooo…. this is it for tonight!
(The photo is from a couple of days ago, but lots more is on the way!)
Snow deadline
The fierce urgency of now
Today I’m experiencing the intense frustration that results from feeling my unique version of the “fierce urgency of now,” while at the same time feeling stuck, as though there’s something holding me back from the appropriate “vigorous and positive action.”
Arggghhhh!
I could be wrong, but I’m beginning to suspect it has to do with the fact that I haven’t made virtually any music in almost six weeks. And it’s not just a matter of my singing/playing getting “rusty;” it’s the not dipping into the flow of creativity and not enjoying the energy exchange that comes with participating in an ensemble and from performing for people.
So, in looking for a visually magnetic version of the above Martin Luther King quote, I stumbled on a blog with the attention-getting (to me, at least!) title of “Shut Up and Create.” This really felt like Divine Mother was talking to me! 😂
Anyway, this particular “Shut Up and Create” post — The fierce urgency of NOW…it’s on us — was published almost exactly a year ago and contains some sentences that really resonated for me…
“…your work, ideas, activism, advocacy, and creativity are needed NOW. What are you sitting on that will make our world a better place to be free in?” [and] “The world is waiting for you to put your ideas, skill, talents, and thoughts into action. That book, app, learning community, workshop, non-profit, social enterprise you’ve been sitting on is needed NOW.”
Reading this is both exhilarating and terrifying, because I know in my heart that this is my time and my test.
Washington D.C. and me
I guess it started with all the recent events in our nation’s capital. Then it continued with my thoughts about patriotism, which reminded me that in high school our mascot was the Patriots. What it all added up to was remembering a key event of my youth…
I was fifteen years old and a high school sophomore. That year our new band teacher, John Bringetto, suggested that I try out for the Blue Saints Honor Jazz Band on baritone sax. I got in and at the first rehearsal learned that I was now a member of an Explorer Scout post — whatever that meant!
Well, I learned a lot more about Explorer Scouts the following spring, when the Blue Saints were invited to be the “house band” for the second National Explorer Presidents’ Congress in Washington, D.C.
This was in the early 70’s, before answering machines, video players, and personal computers. The Explorers organization flew us to Washington D.C., which was my first experience of the East Coast and my first time in an airplane. They put us up — all expenses paid — in the luxurious Sheraton Park Hotel and we divided our time between occasionally entertaining the Explorer Presidents’ Congress and visits to Capitol Hill and the National Mall.
I was so young and naïve then. I remember trying to wrap my mind around the contrast in scenery, starting with the beautiful hotel grounds, moving through the slums (something I had never seen before), and arriving at the Capitol where everything was perfection. I distinctly remember rows of daffodils planted with military precision, in graduated — from pale to vivid — shades of yellow.
Another never-to-be-forgotten memory was going into a restaurant and ordering a muffin. At least, that’s what I thought I said. The waitress, who was black, brought me a bowl of some sort of oatmeal porridge type of hot cereal. I remember looking at her and realizing that — despite both of us being American and English-speaking and dark-skinned — we did not speak the same language. California was a long way from Washington D.C.
One final thought: I do have some (pretty bad) photos of band members hanging out on the steps of the Capitol Building (I think it’s the East Front) and I was surprised to see all sorts of cars parked right there on the street in front of the Capitol. Things have changed so much, haven’t they?
Sometimes there’s nothing there
Tonight is one of those times.
Which makes it the perfect moment to remind myself that the primary goal of this blog is to simply do it. To write something every day, regardless of whether it’s “good” or “interesting” or “worthwhile.”
So, mission accomplished, despite having absolutely nothing to say.
Celebrating America
I’m not sure how we missed the fact that this extravaganza was happening the evening of Inauguration Day, but we finally watched it tonight (only two days late🙄), and we’re really glad we did!
It was moving and uplifting and fun. I loved hearing stories and tributes honoring a diversity of “ordinary” Americans. I enjoyed the wide range of musical styles, performed by top notch entertainers of all descriptions, and the way the presentations cut back and forth across the country.
And as a performer and event organizer myself, I marveled at the complexity of the show and how flawlessly they pulled it all off. I can’t begin to imagine the planning that went into an event like this. As for the ending fireworks? Absolutely breathtaking!
An altogether wonderful night.
Loving my country
I’m still processing the intense feelings from yesterday’s inauguration. Several times during the day I found myself spontaneously thinking of lines from patriotic songs, like:
This is my country! Land of my birth!
or:
God bless America, land that I love…
And it got me to thinking about being a “patriot” — a concept that has been whittled down to such a narrow and limited definition that I’m almost afraid to identify as a patriot. (Which is especially galling because at Milpitas High School we were the Patriots; the image above is our mascot).
But, gosh darn it, I am patriotic. I do love my country. No, I don’t automatically believe America is always the best in every way, but I love it no matter what. And what I’ve learned in recent days is that I don’t really have a choice.
It’s like comparing mothers. You can appreciate that other people’s mothers are wonderful, but no one can replace your own mother in your heart. You might get mad at her or disagree with her, but you don’t stop loving her.
Well, that’s how I felt on Wednesday. I’ve been having some issues with my country but gosh darn it, it is my country and I love it.
There’s one more patriotic song that came to my mind. This is from another album of my Dad’s that I loved to listen to as a child. The title is, “The House I Live In,” but I love how the song so eloquently and lovingly answers the question, “What is America to me?” I especially resonate with the ending phrase: “But especially the people, that’s America to me.” That’s my truth as well.
The House I Live In (1947)
What is America to me?
A name, a map or a flag I see,
A certain word, “Democracy”,
What is America to me?
The house I live in,
The friends that I have found,
The folks beyond the railroad
and the people all around,
The worker and the farmer,
the sailor on the sea,
The men who built this country,
that’s America to me.
The words of old Abe Lincoln,
of Jefferson and Paine,
of Washington and Jackson
and the tasks that still remain.
The little bridge at Concord,Â
where Freedom’s Fight began,
of Gettysburg and MidwayÂ
and the story of Bataan.
The house I live in,
my neighbors White and Black,
the people who just came hereÂ
or from generations back,
the town hall and the soapbox,
the torch of Liberty,
a home for all God’s children,
that’s America to me.
The house I live in,
the goodness everywhere,
a land of wealth and beautyÂ
with enough for all to share.
A house that we call “Freedom”,
the home of Liberty,
but especially the people,
that’s America to me.
But especially the people–
that’s the true America…
Happy Inauguration Day!
I wasn’t really expecting to be swept up in such intense waves of feeling today. I think a part of me has been holding back, maintaining some distance — perhaps in order to keep me safe from last minute disappointments?
So it wasn’t until last night that it all kicked in for me. Hearing about the “Wear Pearls on Jan 20th, 2021” Facebook group — over 470,000 women united in their commitment to wear pearls in honor of Kamala — lit a fire under me.
I tuned into the ceremony partway through Biden’s speech and was so grateful for his calm, gracious, humble demeanor. Of course, I know he’s not perfect, but it feels to me like his sincerity is real and his character is true.
I have no words to describe how blown away I was by Amanda Gorman. Just… WOW!
But maybe what surprised me the most was the intensity of my relief. It’s as if I hadn’t been able to fully acknowledge — even to myself — just how anxious and uncomfortable and even, as a person of color, fearful I had been for much too long (not for myself so much, but for my family and POC in general). It takes a lot of energy to keep from knowing what one knows, and now that energy is freed up and available to use in constructive ways.
As I sobbed uncontrollably at the end of the ceremony I felt a bone deep, visceral sense of release. And, yes, I felt like I could breathe again; that I could recognize my country again; that the true power of love and light and truth had prevailed yet again.
Out of all the eloquent words people shared today, I especially loved the following (written by a friend; thanks, Paul Green):
“Today I’m reminded that miracles are miracles. Just one miraculous day carries enough power to transcend four years of darkness. Just one lightbulb chases out a whole room of darkness. Just one young poet reminds us of the positive power of the word, after years of debasement of language. Love can win, no matter how long it’s been beaten down. There are no small miracles.”
Meandering
I had three topic possibilities for today’s post but none of them would come into focus. Instead I spent hours in mental meandering, without ever finding my out of the the mental maze!
Oh well.
A day to remember a King
Below are two quotes — one by and the other about Martin Luther King Jr. — that I had never heard before. I found both really powerful and hope you do, too.
“Love is the greatest force in the universe. It is the heartbeat of the moral cosmos. He who loves is a participant in the being of God.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
“The moment I met Martin Luther King, Jr., I knew I was in the presence of a holy person. Not just his good work, but his very being was a source of great inspiration for me…In Vietnam, we refer to Dr. King as a ‘Bodhisattva’, an enlightened being devoted to serving humanity.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
A material plane kind of day
Today in my house we put away everything Christmas-related (yay, Ramesha!) and did a ton of laundry (yay, me!), as well as a number of other chores (like taking out the recycling and compost, and watering the plants).
Unfortunately, the older I get the less patience I have for material plane tasks. Which is too bad because I really, really like a clean, uncluttered, neat environment.
On days like today I fantasize about what it would be like to have a live-in housekeeper. 😂