“It’s not about feeling better, it’s about getting better at feeling.”
When I heard these words during an appointment today, I made sure to write them down. I could feel their truth for me on every level of my being, but I’ve learned from past experience that if I’m not careful there’s a part of me that will quickly erase such insights from my memory banks.
It’s not an entirely new concept. For years I’ve had therapists and counselors encouraging me to tune into my feelings, to name them and feel them in order to let them go.
I remember one session with a therapist where I was doing my usual talking about the feeling while carefully skirting around any actual feeling of the feeling. She gently but firmly insisted that I tell her where I was feeling it in my body. It took quite a while but eventually I was able to get there.
Over the years and decades so much of my energy has gone to trying to feel better. Sometimes that means trying to fix the situation (or the person) as quickly as possible. Other times it means distracting myself with food or activity. Straightforward denial has definitely had its role to play.
But today is the first time I’ve understood that the real goal is to get better at feeling whatever it is I’m feeling. To be honest and authentic, first and foremost with myself.
What a concept.
When you are centered – feeling are “external” events to be enjoyed as little or as much as you want.
Bhagavati, it is so inspiring to read your daily journeys of discovery.
I love this one particularly! Surrounding you in love and light.