Last year at this time

I spent a fair amount of time this morning talking on the phone with a friend who’s dealing with a serious cancer diagnosis and difficult treatment scenario. She’ll probably be facing a stem cell transplant in a few weeks and wanted to talk with me about my experience.

I was happy to answer questions, listen to her concerns, and just generally offer support. What I didn’t anticipate was how our conversation would make me realize how distanced I felt from an experience that was unbelievably intense at the time.

It brought to mind something I read just the other day (can’t remember where, unfortunately), about how — while our human brains will remember that something was painful — we can’t actually feel that pain again (which must be why women are able to give birth multiple times).

Of course, it all started coming back to me as I dredged up my memories. And I suddenly realized that this time last year I was in full-on transplant preparation mode.

To bring it into clearer focus, I went back to my July 2022 calendar and discovered that from July 11-29 I had twenty different medical appointments — from lab draws and chemo infusions; to oncologist, cardiology, pulmonary, and physical therapy appointments; culminating in my second bone marrow biopsy.

And now? It’s hard to believe all that really happened.

Rather strange, actually.

Something to think about

A little something to reflect on as we reach the end of a challenging week.

Learning to embrace what I evidently need, rather than stubbornly insist on getting what I want, is clearly a lifelong lesson.

So good to be back

The Ananda Meditation Retreat

Today we spent a glorious morning with the twenty or so great souls who are participating in the Living Discipleship program at the Ananda Meditation Retreat.

It was our first time back — both to the location and to teaching at the program — since March 2020. In fact, we were poised to go up and present our class when the word came down that everything (pretty much in the world) was cancelled!

So, it was great to be there and it was also a little surreal to think back and remember how so much changed at that time…virtually overnight.

My latest fantasy

Lately I’ve been fantasizing about holing up for (at least) two to four days in a quiet, peaceful spot (near the ocean would be absolutely ideal) and reading books.

That used to be one of my favorite things to do as a child, as a teenager, and as a young adult. In fact, I can recall days when I would do nothing but read. It was very relaxing for me.

Now I sneak it in by reading while I’m doing something else. But it’s not the same. Not at all.

Where it’s happening

This is the studio where we’ve been spending many (many!) hours over the past few weeks with Mike Georgia, our recording engineer.

The project? Putting the finishing touches on our Oratorio performance from last April.

We’re excited to be seeing some light at the end of the tunnel!

Moving forward with my gratitude idea?

Ancestral Alchemy Tattoo

I’m a step closer to moving forward with the wild and crazy “gratitude” idea that I mentioned the other day.

It feels “wild and crazy” to me because it’s absolutely the first time in my entire life that I’ve considered getting a tattoo!

I’m not quite there yet, but after researching various tattoo studios in our area, I found a place with which I resonate.

Here’s the caption that accompanied the above photo:

Sacred Space🌵
We have created a sacred space to offer ritual tattoo and adornment in Nevada City, CA. Our vision is to inspire and empower you to adorn your body with the symbols that support you to step into your highest self. We believe tattoo is a birth rite. A sacred journey towards wholeness.

I can definitely get behind that.

Blocked by resistance

There’s good and less good types of resistance. What I’ve been battling all day is definitely the less good kind.

The kind where you know what you need to do and you simply do not feel like doing it.

I’ve managed to get a few things done regardless, but it hasn’t been pretty.

A universal gratitude symbol

I never knew such a thing existed, but it does! And a very beautiful symbol it is.

I looked it up because I’ve got a (for me, at least) wild and crazy “gratitude” idea that I’m mulling over. 🤔

Whipping up some energy

Yes, I’m looking forward to seeing the latest Indiana Jones movie, but that isn’t really what’s got me thinking about whips.

No, it’s the fact that I’m finally hitting that “after the big event” slump, where I just don’t want to do anything…regardless of the fact that there are things I really do need to accomplish.

But when I say that maybe I’ll be able to “whip” myself into action tomorrow, what I’m really getting at is the need to “whip up” my energy!

Nineteen years and counting 💘

The anniversary card I gave to Ramesha today

Best idea ever? Most definitely marrying Ramesha…nineteen years ago today!

And it just keeps getting better and better.

Deep, deep gratitude for this wonderful man.

July 5, 2004