(not necessarily in that order)
A day spent tackling complicated, bureaucratic-type projects; following up on performance commitments; grieving the loss of a dear member of the community; and manifesting a choral expression of our love for that friend.
A full day which has left me feeling equal parts good about what I accomplished and wrung out from all that I accomplished!
Duality.
In exactly one month (plus a day) I will arrive at my one year anniversary of writing this blog. Amazing.
Especially the fact that I hardly ever find that I have nothing to say, which was such a big deal when I was first getting started.
I’m glad to be noticing this now — as opposed to having the anniversary sneak up on me at the last minute. This way I can take the opportunity to reflect on what it means, what I’ve learned, and where I want to go from here (hint: just keep writing!).
More and more ideas seem to want to crowd into my brain every day. And a lot of them seem like good ideas, too.
Ideas for…
…informal music Q&A satsangs
…”sing-along with Swami” sessions
…creating music playlists
…online courses
…increased engagement with our “fans”
…music leader training
…more regular newsletters
…lyric videos
…how to rehearse choir using Zoom
…virtual World Brotherhood Choir videos
…training small groups online
…etc, etc, etc!
Unfortunately, there seems to be an inverse relationship between the number of ideas and my ability to focus or be productive. I know it’s partly my response to the unsettled energy and uncertainties of this time, but still…it’s really rather frustrating.
There are a few phrases that work best in Italian. This is definitely one of them: basta così!
Basically, I’m done; it’s enough.
In other words, I’m ready to call it a day and hit the sack. 😴
What gets me back on track? Every single time? Singing Ananda Music. Playing it works, too, but not quite as infallibly.
Considering the crazy, hectic, push me-pull me times we’re in, this particular spiritual “tool” is like gold; it’s priceless. And it’s so important for me to keep it uppermost in my mind as I move through these challenging days.
Because, even though our twice a week sing-alongs can seem like a bit much when I’m in preparation mode, by the end of the thirty minutes I’m so glad I did it!
It’s like journeying back to the source, drinking deep from the waters, and being completely renewed! What a gift.
Although Crystal Hermitage and its gardens are closed due to the coronavirus, Ananda Village residents are allowed to visit — by reservation; two per hour; masked and gloved!
It was glorious to spend an hour immersed in the beauty and sunlight and fresh air. And as a bonus, we actually got to see and greet a few friends (from an appropriate social distance, of course)!
We don’t usually make it there so early in the season, so this was our first time witnessing the cherry blossoms in their full splendor. Although there are already lots of tulips, the wisteria and dogwood trees aren’t yet in full bloom. So we’ll definitely be making another appointment (or two…or three!) over the coming weeks.
This has been both the strangest and the best Easter ever.
I calculated that it was probably the first Easter since 1989 that I didn’t celebrate in church surrounded by spiritual family. Definitely strange…
Thank goodness I made up my mind the night before to get at least a little dressed up; it would have been just too sad to watch the Easter service online while wearing a grungy sweatshirt! I’m glad to say that Ramesha went along with me on this, so we were nicely spruced up for the holiday.
What made it the best Easter ever is the depth and generosity of what was on offer. From Andrea Bocelli singing in the Duomo in Milan to our very own Jyotish and Devi in the Temple of Light — and certainly in a multitude of other places — it felt like everyone was digging deeper than ever before and finding previously untapped reserves of love and joy and power to share with others.
I was moved to tears again and again throughout the day. And I’ll be going to bed feeling more hopeful than I have in weeks.
The concepts I tried to capture and express in last night’s blog felt like they really stretched and challenged my brain; I even wondered whether I was making sense!
Then tonight I read the following in a blog–Inspiration for Challenging Times-COVID-19–written by my friend, Surendra (emphasis in bold is mine):
Dear Me…
You signed up for this crisis when you agreed to be born in this time and place. You came here to learn and to help. That was the deal, remember?
If it had been your karma to be born in a higher age, or on a more refined planet, that’s where you would have been sent. But this is where you have landed, entirely for your own good, and now your opportunity to make the most of it has never been greater. Get to it, man, and stay with it. Feel the love, and share it. Make it the time of your life.
The “doubting Thomas” part of me feels much better, as I find that I’m not entirely alone in having this thought!
Soooo…let’s remember that we signed up for this, grab hold of the opportunity, and get to it! We can make this the time of our lives. (Thanks, Surendra! 🙏💗🙏)
Saw this image on Facebook, accompanied by a friend’s post commenting on how we’re being divinely cleansed and prepared for a beautiful and more abundant future…but we must have faith.
And I find myself reflecting once again on the fact that we all have our own little moments of what–to us–feel almost like a crucifixion-resurrection experience; our own uniquely personal version of death-rebirth that we move through again and again throughout our lives.
I think on a very, very deep level we know we signed up for these experiences, but when the moment comes to face up to them it feels like a very bad idea that we would never have agreed to!
It’s like we each have our own itsy-bitsy, teeny tiny version of the Easter story helping us to build our faith muscle.
Hmmm… I’m not entirely sure this makes any sense, but it’s late so I’ll just leave it at that. 🙂
I would never have suspected that presenting an Oratorio online would feel almost as complicated (and stressful) as doing it live!
On the one hand, while there’s a lot less people-organizing this way, there’s way less actual music-making as well. Which is hard because that’s the part that really feeds my soul.
And rather than preparations being spread out through months of rehearsal, we just spent a fairly intense few days (less than a week at any rate), going from idea to concept to figuring out execution in this brave new world of putting it all on-the-line, online!
I’m looking forward to turning on the computer tomorrow (Good Friday) at 7:30 pm; closing my eyes; and focusing on the music and nothing but the music. Ahhh…I can feel the bliss already!