(not necessarily in that order)
Today had some interesting and inspiring moments. But at the moment, all I can really think about are the following pre-surgical challenges:
I tell myself it really isn’t a big deal, but I can’t help it…it is!
This is my current inner mood, but I know it’s mostly the result of day after day of events, all following on the heels of an intense holiday season, with the complication of preparing for surgery added into the mix.
And, as usual, lack of sleep makes everything seem harder. Tonight’s my chance to do a little catching up.
Good night.
We have to be out the door by 7:00 tomorrow morning for an 8:30 pre-surgery appointment in Yuba City.
Lucky for me, Mother Nature provided this gorgeous sunset that I can share tonight.
I shared the blog post about “My word of the year” with the artist friend who led the class, and she once again demonstrated for me how much more “seeing” an artist does compared to aurally-oriented people like me.
Sarah read the blog post, saw the photo of my randomly placed and freshly painted letters, and this is what she commented:
“It was wonderful to witness your process in creating your board, Bhagavati. Looking at the last photo, I see that RECLAIM spells MIRACLE too!”
Of course, I had looked at that photo a dozen times and not once did the word “miracle” jump out at me!
Bottom line is that I obviously have a 2-for-1, double-whammy of a word thing going on for 2024. I’m not sure whether it’s that I reclaim my miracle, or the miracle is that I reclaim myself. Either way, it’s most definitely an additional blessing.
I was in Yuba City last Thursday for a consultation about my hernia, the outcome of which is that I go back for surgery this coming Thursday. As part of the pre-op, I had to get blood drawn, and this was on the wall across from my chair.
I’ve never had real surgery (“gone under the knife”) before, so I most definitely appreciated seeing this sign in that moment.
Tonight’s celebration of Master’s birthday was perfect.
It was an incredibly beautiful altar; the choir songs and Jitendra’s chanting were filled with devotion.; the meditation was deep; and Jyotish and Devi gave inspiring talks.
What more could one wish for?
I drove a total of approximately three hours today — to Yuba City, then Auburn, back to Grass Valley, and finally home to Nevada City — leaving the house at 9:00 this morning and returning around 6:00.
The stops along the way included a consultation about hernia surgery; lunch with my Dad and my sister; a follow-up exam for my dental implant; getting the car washed (it really needed it); and grocery shopping.
Needless to say, I am done in and rather desperately hoping to get to bed early.
I definitely kicked off the new year in a new way!
First, by choosing a Word of the Year and, secondly, by participating in an art workshop where we decorated a board with our chosen word. It was a simple but powerful process that made me realize why “art therapy” is a real thing.
So, my word is RECLAIM. And my “helper word” is DESERVE.
I had been mulling over word possibilities for a few days before the day of the workshop, without feeling drawn to any word in particular. Then the word RECLAIM popped into my mind while I was driving to the art studio and, after I shared it with the group, I could feel that it really resonated within me.
So, before I started working on my board, I just sat for a while to tune into what RECLAIM actually meant to me. What was I reclaiming? And how? This is what came to me:
What = My power / How = Own it
What = My body / How = Move it
What = My time / How = Honor it
What = My joy / How = Embrace it
What = My willpower / How = Befriend it
What = My self / How = Accept it
Then it was time to tune into the lettering and how the word would fit on the board. This is what I did at first, by hand…
It didn’t feel right, so I asked Sarah (the Ananda Village artist who was offering the workshop) if there were stencils or something that could help me get the letters right, as I wanted them to fill out the space more. And she immediately pointed out to me the connection between “filling out the space” and my word! I was wanting to RECLAIM my space. Interesting, no?
These are the letters that I then decided to use.
Next, she suggested tuning into the chakras in order to feel the color that best matched the energy of my word. Because my word feels very powerful and strong, I chose yellow, for the third chakra (power, self-control).
And because my “helper word” had to do with the fact that I DESERVE to reclaim all the elements of my self, I found myself gravitating toward royal purple for the letters.
Then an important memory suddenly resurfaced, of a time when I felt reassured by the Universe that I was, indeed, deserving (I wrote about it in this blog post). And I marveled at the power of this process once again.
The end result is that I absolutely LOVE my word and feel it’s already helping me start this year strong.
When I saw this on Facebook, it stopped me in my tracks. The imagery so perfectly reflects my process of the past couple of years.
In 2022 I was largely turned in on myself as I moved through my cancer journey.
At the beginning of 2023, I was done with treatments, off disability, and back to work. So, I rather naively assumed all was back to normal. It wasn’t until about half or even two-thirds of the way through 2023 that I finally “got it” that, although progress was being made, I still had a way to go before being fully healed and integrated on all levels once again.
Now, as 2024 gets underway, there’s been a definite inner shift, which I’m experiencing as interesting new thoughts, choices, and behaviors (I’ll share more about this in future blog posts).
In fact, the above image (which can be purchased as a print) has inspired me to do something I haven’t done in over thirty years — create a little rhyme to affirm my vision for this beautiful new year. Here goes…
In two zero two four, I’ll shine once more! 🌟
Many years ago now, there was a brief period when I became sort of an honorary member of the Irish-Irish (as distinct from the Irish-American) community in San Francisco.
It’s a long story, which I won’t go into, but during that rich and expansive time I became acquainted with the writings of John O’Donohue and even had the blessing of hearing him speak in person.
I hadn’t thought of him in many years, but was very moved to find this beautiful blessing for the new year. I was even more delighted to discover a recording of him reading the poem himself.
(Interestingly, I learned that I’m posting this on his birthday — January 1st — and that he was born in the same year I was.)
[Note: “Beannacht” is the Gaelic word for “blessing.” A “currach” is a large boat used on the west coast of Ireland.]
Beannacht: A Blessing for the New Year
On the day when
The weight deadens
On your shoulders
And you stumble,
May the clay dance
To balance you.
And when your eyes
Freeze behind
The grey window
And the ghost of loss
Gets in to you,
May a flock of colours,
Indigo, red, green,
And azure blue,
Come to awaken in you
A meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
In the currach of thought
And a stain of ocean
Blackens beneath you,
May there come across the waters
A path of yellow moonlight
To bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
Wind work these words
Of love around you,
An invisible cloak
To mind your life.
~John O’Donohue