Bhagavati (Sharon) Nani – Page 186

November 1, 2019

I ❤️ orchestra

Don’t know quite what set it off, but this afternoon I’m really missing playing in orchestra! So, I’ve been watching videos of some of my favorite orchestral moments — Overtures to William Tell and Semiramide; parts of Tchaikovsky 5th and 6th symphonies; Brahms 1st; Daphnis and Chloe; Debussy’s La Mer; you get the idea.

It’s fun remembering what it’s like…wearing black; watching the conductor; waiting for a big solo; feeling the connection with your fellow musicians.

But what I miss most of all is the thrill of being in the middle of the amazing sound and energy generated by sixty or more dedicated musicians, all focused in the present moment on achieving the shared goal of expressing the composer’s intention to the best of their ability. I truly don’t think there’s anything else like it.

Sure there are other team experiences in sports and such, but somehow the added element of music takes it to another level. Well, that’s how it seems to me at any rate, though I certainly can’t prove it!

October 31, 2019

A single step

A friend responded to yesterday’s blog post by reminding me of the quote: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and it got me thinking…

So many times it seems that we finally take that single step and get started on our journey only to run out of steam and collapse by the wayside. Or take a wrong turn and lose our way. Or decide to turn around and head right back to where we started!

But the truth is that we can always start again!

We can stand back up after we’ve rested for a while and take another single step to start again. We can consult a map, get back to the main road, and with a single step resume our journey in the right direction. And, even if seems like we’re all the way back at our starting point, we can once again take a single step and start the journey again.

I’m really heartened and encouraged by this idea today!

October 30, 2019

Shifting energies

I think some of the little changes are starting to show some little results. Not a whole lot, perhaps. But still, enough to show that shifts are taking place.

Right now I’m particularly appreciating the way things that are in alignment with the new (little) changes just “happen” to show up, adding energy to the gradually increasing magnetism. Which then adds to my inner motivation.

And it all starts with being okay with itty bitty little changes. 😊

October 29, 2019

Being okay with falling short

The afternoon got away from me and I forgot to get my blog post written early. There was no choir due to the ongoing power outage, but Ramesha and I met with a few singers who have just recently returned to choir, in order to help them get back in the flow. It was a really fun rehearsal/satsang but it went overtime!

So now I’m writing this on my phone, after my 9:30 deadline. Oh well, “if I could of done better, I would have done better!”

Besides, I can still make it to bed before midnight!

October 28, 2019

Child of the universe

I’m so glad I stumbled across that quote about forgiveness yesterday, because it led me to Danielle Koepke and her Internal Acceptance Movement.

Self-acceptance has been one of my core issues and I remember, several decades ago, finding great comfort in this line from the Desiderata: “You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.”

I lived in San Francisco during that time and going to the ocean was one of my primary coping mechanisms. At one inner crisis point I found myself pondering the above quote while walking on Ocean Beach; it was a blustery, somewhat rainy January day, with virtually no other people around. This was perfect, because at one point I found myself crying and (literally) screaming back at my own negative self-talk: “I deserve to live! I have a right to be here!” It was maybe the most intense self-healing process I’d ever experienced.

Later that day one of my adult students showed up unexpectedly at my door with a planter full of beautiful white freesias and ranunculus, just beginning to blossom. Now, she lived about forty-five minutes outside of San Francisco. She didn’t have a scheduled lesson. She just “felt” to bring me these flowers. Can you imagine how that felt to me?!? Suddenly the idea that I was a child of the universe became a felt reality. I felt loved and supported by something bigger and assured that — in fact — I had a right to be here.

This is why I’m grateful to have found the Internal Acceptance Movement and why I especially resonate with their tagline of “You exist, and therefore, you matter.” I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet who wouldn’t benefit from hearing those words.

October 27, 2019

More forgiveness

I just happened to stumble across this on Facebook and it so perfectly expanded on my thoughts from yesterday that I decided to share it here.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for what happened.
For the mistakes you made.
For not showing up the way up the way you needed to.
For not being the person you wanted to be.
You’re human.

You did the best you could in the moment given what you knew and what you had, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. You’re still learning. You’re still finding your way. And that takes time. You’re allowed to give yourself that time. And you’re allowed to show up in the world imperfectly. You’re allowed to fail at things you tried hard for. You’re allowed to realize you made the wrong decision. You’re allowed to be someone who’s still figuring out their path and their purpose.

And you’re allowed to forgive yourself.

You can’t go back and change the decisions you’ve made, but you can choose what you do today. You can keep choosing, again and again. You can start over. And that’s where your power is. In today.

So no more beating yourself up. No more going over and over it again in your head and torturing yourself with the past. What happened, happened, and all the shame and self-hatred in the world won’t undo that.

Today, you’re starting over. Today, you’re moving forward with the new knowledge and experiences you have.
Today, you can be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live.

You’re not a bad person. You’re not a disappointment or a failure. You’re just human.

You’re still learning and growing and finding your way. And it’s okay. You’ll be okay. ॐ ❤

By Daniell Koepke

October 26, 2019

Forgiveness

I was on the road this morning, on my way to meet my father and sister for breakfast, when a random thought entered my mind, then took root and became something more…

I have no idea how or why, but I found myself thinking about some of the horrible things people do to other people and wondering if I ever found myself in such a situation whether I would have enough faith and inner strength to react with compassion and forgiveness rather than fear and anger.

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,” popped into my mind.

That, of course, brought the high example of Jesus to mind. And it occurred to me that the truth of the matter is, when someone is hurting another person, there’s always ignorance of what they’re doing.

Most of us are only focused on the here and now, so we think we know what we’re doing. But there are infinite subtle realities beyond the one we can see, and our ignorance of those subtle realities is exactly why we “know not” what we do; to ourselves and to the one “whole” of which we are a part.

I found myself thinking: “Father, forgive them for they knew not what they did”, extending this thought retroactively to anyone and everyone who I felt had ever hurt me.

And then it became: “Father, forgive me for I knew not what I did.”

Wow. Apply compassion and forgiveness to myself? What a concept. But the truth is, as one of my favorite Asha quotes says: “If I could of done better, I would of done better.” Time to let myself off the hook for not being perfect already , eh?

So, what about you?

October 25, 2019