When I hit adolescence I entered the “dysfunctional love songs” period of my personal music history. These were songs with beautiful melodies and catchy lyrics that just happened to emphasize doom, gloom, loss, and heartbreak — all of which my angst-filled teen-aged self completely resonated with (of course)!
I started off with this song by the Gershwins…
They’re writing songs of love
But not for me
A lucky star’s above
But not for me
This depressing verse has been stuck in my head since freshman year in high school…
Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old
Sometimes I’d like to quit
Nothin’ ever seems to fit
Hangin’ around
Nothin’ to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Here’s a section from one of my favorite songs of the time…
It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?
Alone again, naturally
I remember singing this one non-stop the summer I was learning to drive…
Where is the love,
You said was mine all mine, till the end of time
Was it just a lie
Where is the love?
And finally…Dionne Warwick has got to be the queen of dysfunctional love songs (“Walk on By”, “Who Can I Turn to”, “In Between the Heartaches”, etc); but I think this one tops them all…
I just don’t know what to do with myself
I’m so used to doing everything with you
Learning everything for two
And now that we’re through
I just don’t know what to do with my time
I’m so lonesome for you, it’s a crime
Going to a movie only makes me sad
Parties make me feel as bad
When I’m not with you, I just don’t know what to do
Oh baby, if your new love ever turns you down
Come on back, I will be around
Just waiting for you, I don’t know what else to do.
Considering how many of these sentiments I completely absorbed into my consciousness, it’s a wonder I ever had a healthy relationship! Listening to them now I just shake my head…and thank my lucky stars that this musical period didn’t last forever!
At the time I was totally “uncool” because I could never hear the words well enough on the radio to memorize them. So I could rarely walk along singing all of the lyrics with my friends. I related and enjoyed more just the music and the beat. Maybe I was lucky? Even now I’ll hear a song and – such as one Swami used to play during the 8 hour meditation. I thought it sounded middle eastern and mystical, and just the sound took you to a different place. It turns out the lyrics are some forlorn love song by a Shepherdess from an opera. I asked him what the words were and he said they were weren’t anything meaningful. I later looked up the lyrics on line, and he was right. I guess Master or he had chosen it because it sounded beautiful. Fortunately sung in another language we weren’t distracted by the words. You mention Dionne Warick’s Walk On By. I loved that song, but the meaning of the words never touched me. Probably didn’t know them all! I loved MoTown but it was the energy of the music rather than the words.
Thanks for sharing this interesting perspective, Lisa! I wonder how different my experience might have been had I not been so tuned into the lyrics… It would be interesting to “feel” what the actual vibration of the melody does (i.e. rising or sinking in the spine), although I doubt I’ll take the time to do that! One final point: I totally loved all these songs at the time! It was only much, much later (after all kinds of relationship drama) that I started noticing the less-than-healthy sentiments expressed through the words). 🙂