As my cancer journey continues, with its added detours and diversions, the “picture” (aka my understanding of what it is actually going on) keeps getting bigger.
So, today I’m unexpectedly aware that there are phases to this process. Duh! 😄
Phase 1 was about –
- Leading from strength (for me, that means positivity, optimism, raising energy, healing through singing, doing my dharma, focusing on serving the music ministry)
- A tremendous outpouring of loving prayer support
- Some “ignorance is bliss” (it was impossible to comprehend everything all at once, definitely leaving gaps in my understanding that kept me from appreciating the full seriousness of the diagnosis, which was probably a good thing!)
- Going gangbusters for two full months (no problem with chemo, sailing through radiation, way exceeding my personal goals for the Oratorio) — then HELLO Phase 2…
Phase 2 (where I’m at now) is about –
- Acknowledging and embracing weaknesses
- Accepting and embracing the lessons cancer is encouraging me to learn (for me, that means slowing down, making time to do the inner work, seeking guidance, feeling the feelings, resolving old griefs and pain, being vulnerable, asking for help)
- Being practical in my idealism (working with what is, not what I wish it could be)
- Making big decisions
- Always hanging on to my strengths of positivity and optimism, etc. throughout the process, even during these ickier parts
This is beautiful. What a gift of growth. Bless you. You’re in my daily prayers for you and Ramesha
So moved by : your sharing your growing awareness of what IS, as it is; your willingness to be vulnerable in your revealing what that is for you in this moment; your embracing what awareness is revealing to go deeper on your inner journey to truth and wholeness. I bow down dear sister to you, your courage and trust in the Divine within. Many blessings on your continued journey. Love, Jayashree