A study in contrasts

I was still active as a freelance classical flutist when I moved into the Ananda Palo Alto community in the late-90’s, with a large portion of my income coming from music gigs. Christmas was a particularly busy time, with orchestras offering holiday concerts; businesses hosting office parties; and churches putting on elaborate Christmas pageants.

My second or third Christmas after coming to Ananda, I was blessed with an experience that clearly demonstrated to me the transformative power of Ananda’s meditation techniques and music.

I had performed at a church in a neighboring town the year before and was happy when they asked me back for a second year. But this time, the date of the gig just happened to be five days after a performance of the Oratorio. And, my goodness, what a contrast!

My experience at the “traditional” church:

  • An impatient, critical, abusive conductor
  • A freaked-out keyboardist and indifferent, careless musicians
  • A “slick”, heartless production
  • Superficial, “Hollywood”-style musical arrangements geared to singers’ egos
  • A passive, “dead” audience

My experience at Ananda:

  • A respectful conductor, harmonious communication, and supportive leadership
  • Joyous, caring, inspired musicians
  • A deeply felt, inspired production
  • Elegantly simple yet refined arrangements of superconscious music that awakens devotion and raises singers’ energy
  • A responsive, energetic, and deeply engaged audience

During the church Christmas pageant I was miserable and felt like I could hardly play. I ended up promising myself I would never do that gig again, that the money just wasn’t worth it. But then I got to reflecting: I had done it the year before with no problem; what was different?

The difference was that in the year in-between, I had continued to deepen my meditation practice, becoming more and more attuned to a higher, more loving vibration. So it actually felt traumatic to try and fit myself back into that judgmental, superficial, empty energy.

Bottom line? Although I have rare moments when I miss playing in orchestra, I have no regrets about letting go of that career and dedicating my energies to a higher cause.