“Detach yourself. Control the reactive process. Live the teachings.”
Words of deep wisdom from a devotee friend who was dying of cancer, spoken to her husband. This was ten years ago but her words have inspired and challenged many of us ever since.
Although I’ve reflected on them often over the years myself, today I had an “aha” moment. I can’t say for sure, of course, but for the first time I found myself pondering the order of the words and I would be willing to bet it’s no accident that “detach yourself” comes first.
After all, how can I possibly “control the reactive process” if I’m attached — to the outcome; to my opinions and my rights; to people being or acting a certain way; etcetera etcetera ad infinitum?!? Where there’s attachment, I’ll continue to feel a “charge” around the issue, and to be “triggered” anytime someone “pushes my button!”
No, I must develop the ability to put even a teensy bit of space between me and whatever “it” is. Once I do that I gain perspective; I can be the observer. Then and only then is there the possibility of pausing and choosing my response.
In thinking about all this, I found again a blog post by Nayaswami Jyotish that offers both spiritual insight and practical suggestions:
“Be attentive to the very next thing that upsets your peace of mind. Now trace back to why you are upset. Were you holding an expectation regarding the behavior of others? If you can let go of the expectation, you can let go of the negative reaction. Only once the negative reaction is gone, can you begin to surround the person or situation with peace, love, and harmony.”
Thank you. I needed this