Today I’m remembering being twenty-five years old and trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had been alive for a quarter of a century! It felt like such a milestone.
A quarter of a century…!
Well, twenty-five years ago today, I gave birth to a stillborn baby boy — Liam Andrew Brooks O’Donnell. And I find myself reflecting on the fact that, if he had lived, he would be the one trying to wrap his mind around having reached that milestone.
A quarter of a century…!
I’m also reflecting on the saying, “time heals”, which I have found to be true. It takes years and years, but the gut wrenching anguish does lessen and the apparently random breakdowns come less and less frequently. Life really does go on, despite your conviction that it couldn’t possibly.
True, there may always be a little something — a wistfulness, a hint of sadness — but a whole lot of other experiences — painful, joyful, and everything in-between — tend to pile up in twenty-five years of living. Until, in my experience at least, you can hardly remember who that person was that you were.
A quarter of a century…indeed!
Oh, Bhagavati, thanks for sharing this tender part of yourself. I hadn’t realized that! I really appreciate your open-hearted honesty in all these posts. It’s healing & reassuring, just like I remember Swami to be. 🙏❤️
You’re so welcome, Dambara! I feel honored by your comparison to Swamiji — the ultimate goal! 💗
I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of that anguish, dear friend. Thank you for writing this beautiful tribute to the dear soul that would have loved having you for his mother. Dear Liam. Dear Bhagavati. Time passes. . . .
Thank YOU, dear friend. Your sweet understanding and ongoing support are so precious to me. 💗
Praying with you Bhagavati! As said already an open heart shows the wounds and the wreathes. Without being open nothing gets shared. The heart of a hero is Swamiji’s example and you are doing the same dance. Of course as bhagavati has three A’s and and Aumkara has three A’s we are brother and sister in sound in a way that is a bit unique. I wonder if Dambara would agree….
Thank you for your loving and thoughtful comments, Aumkara. Proud to be a member of the 3-A’s name club! 😊