(not necessarily in that order)
Yep, Spiritual Renewal Week (SRW) is almost here. Which means I’ve been knuckling down and wrestling with details galore.
But first I had to break though some serious resistance. Thank goodness it’s behind me and things are (finally) progressing.
Woke up feeling kind of “off” and felt more and more “off” as the morning progressed.
None of the challenges were respiratory, so I negotiated the various health issues as best I could and went on to Sunday service.
All seemed fine…until it wasn’t!
I made it through the offertory song (on which I was playing flute), asked another alto to take over Festival of Light duties, and quickly gathered up all my stuff. Before I could leave for home, my innards insisted on a bathroom stop in order to empty themselves out.
Feeling slightly better, but really tired, I got home, laid down, and pretty much slept the afternoon away.
I think whatever it was has passed, but it was definitely a laying low kind of day.
My first hint regarding the issue of dysregulation and the importance of a regulated nervous system came in 2022 when I was working with Dr. Suhaila, my naturopathic oncologist.
I was surprised by her extremely strong reaction when I shared a story of a childhood trauma (it was nothing earth-shattering and no one intentionally harmed me; it was simply an accidental experience that left me scared and shocked).
It had never occurred to me that my eight-year-old self wasn’t perfectly okay immediately afterwards or that there was something someone could have done to help me cope with the stress of the experience.
Now I feel like I’m passing through a portal into a whole new awareness of — and learning about — my nervous system.
Fascinating!
“Collective joy”—a state of ecstatic self-transcendence and belonging that comes from moving with others, often to music.
The above quote is from a book I’ve been reading lately, called “The Joy of Movement,” by Kelly McGonigal. I’ve been having lots of “aha” moments, but it’s also been bringing up all sorts of thoughts and memories and realizations.
For one thing, it prompted me to remember that, maybe ten years ago now, I wrote a list of “activities I loved.” I had even forgotten that I wrote a blog post about it; perfect timing for me to re-read it!
With all this on my mind, I got to the office in the late afternoon yesterday. I intended to do some work, then go for a short walk (trying to get myself moving!). But thinking about past activities I used to do brought to mind a song that I used to absolutely LOVE doing aerobics to. Of course, this was back in the day when most of the time I didn’t know who the artist was and one couldn’t just run home and Google the information. So it was many years later that I learned the group was the Pointer Sisters and the song was called “Jump (For My Love). ”
If you like to dance, I challenge you to listen to this song without moving. In fact, I put it on out of curiosity — just wanting to hear it again, you know — and next thing you know — I was up and dancing!
It felt so good that I quickly found the video for Gino Vannelli’s “Brother to Brother” — another one of my all-time favorite dance songs — and I danced around the office to that one as well.
Afterwards I felt so happy. I do believe I’m slowly finding my way back to my original joy in movement.
This quote by Swami Kriyananda is new to me. I love it, but can’t help wondering how I managed to miss it for so long!
This world is like a symphony;
~Swami Kriyananda
God is the great conductor
who alone can bring music
out of everything.
Now that I’m back to full energy and my regular “work,” I’m also falling back into old habits of getting to bed late.
It’s frustrating enough to make me want to pull my hair out!
Aarrghh…!
For the first time in months…
…all our music team members were back from our various travels and present at tonight’s rehearsal.
…the full choir was back at it, with everybody ready to dive into preparations for Spiritual Renewal Week.
The ensemble has actually been meeting and holding down the fort throughout the weeks when Ramesha and I (and also Dambara) were off traveling, but it was great to be back with them again.
And to make things extra fun, Pavani led us in dancing the Horah, in order to get the right unified feel for Swami’s song, “A New Tomorrow.”
It was a great rehearsal. 😊
Below is today’s Momentum Dash inspiration:
And this was the quote:
“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Both hit home for me right now.
First, because I’ve been feeling that some inner shifts are trying to happen (“trust the process”).
Secondly, because now that I’m feeling well and fully able to step back into life’s fray, I’m noticing how quickly I fall back into the imbalanced pattern of responding to external pressures (“…pushed by my problems”) and not taking the time to listen for inner guidance (“led by my dreams”).
Something to ponder.
What a weekend it was! So I’m taking it easy this evening and simply sharing Barbara Bingham’s photo of Uma and Janaka, yesterday’s radiant bride and groom.
This afternoon’s wedding was glorious and beautiful, but we were really pooped afterwards.
So…since “Harold and Maude” has still been rattling around in my brain, I think I’ll share some of my favorite “Maude” quotes. To be perfectly honest, for the longest time Maude is who I wanted to be when I grew up!
Maude: The earth is my body; my head is in the stars.
[pauses] Who said that, Harold?
Harold: I don’t know.
Maude: Well, I suppose I did, then.
Harold: Maude.
Maude: Hmm?
Harold: Do you pray?
Maude: Pray? No. I communicate.
Harold: With God?
Maude: With life.
Harold: You sure have a way with people.
Maude: Well, they’re my species!
Maude: That was fun! Let’s play something together.
Harold: I don’t play anything.
Maude: Nothing? Dear me, everybody should be able to make some music. That’s the cosmic dance.
Maude: I like to watch things grow. They – grow and bloom and fade and die and change into something else. Ah, life!
Maude: I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They’re so tall and simple. What flower would you like to be?
Harold: I don’t know. One of these, maybe.
Maude: Why do you say that?
Harold: Because they’re all alike.
Maude: Oooh, but they’re not. Look. See, some are smaller, some are fatter, some grow to the left, some to the right, some even have lost some petals. All kinds of observable differences. You see, Harold, I feel that much of the world’s sorrow comes from people who are this,
[she points to a daisy]
Maude: yet allow themselves be treated as that.
[she gestures to a field of daisies; cut to a shot of a field of gravestones in a military cemetery]