(not necessarily in that order)
I’m still testing positive, and Ramesha, negative. But he’s displaying symptoms now, which we’re hoping against hope isn’t COVID.
I’m mainly dealing with congested lungs — coughing and wheezing; Ramesha’s got upper respiratory symptoms; and we’re both low energy.
All in all, we’re quite the pair!
In twenty-odd years I haven’t had to sit out very many Swamiji’s Birthday celebrations, but that’s what happened today.
It’s not just that my voice would not have been ready to sing yet, it’s that this morning I finally tested positive for COVID. Sigh.
Ramesha tested negative and has not had any symptoms at all, which we’re hoping stays that way.
So, I’ve been at home, thinking about Swamiji and how to better serve the area of his work that is ours to do — the music.
I’ve also been enjoying reading the many beautiful tributes to Swamiji on social media. My favorite is a series of video clips of him laughing — he had such a wonderful laugh! Unfortunately, it’s a Facebook video, so I can’t share it here on my blog.
But here are some photos of Swami laughing to help you feel his joy.
When we drove up to the Village from Palo Alto on Wednesday, I was actually congratulating myself on how well I felt. Neither of us were feeling super tired, so I figured a couple nights with melatonin to establish the sleep schedule and I’d be home free.
Instead, my chest started feeling tight on Wednesday night. By Thursday I was dealing with a serious cough and Friday saw the addition of congestion.
I had to sleep sitting up because the wheezing and coughing got worse when I laid down in bed. I did steam treatments, essential oils, tea with honey, and sun baths. If I sat still I would fall asleep.
But bit by bit I’m turning the corner. I even left the house today for the first time since we got back from Europe.
But between being sick and events being cancelled due to COVID, I haven’t connected with a single friend since getting home.
It’s very, very strange.
So, what occurred to me during my time in the sun this afternoon is that Divine Mother has put me into a forced time out. I mean, we were constantly on the go in Lugano — fun, but also exhausting. And we were constantly on the go before we flew to Lugano — also fun and productive, but exhausting.
But now? Three days (tomorrow will be the fourth) of no events, no meetings, no nothin’.
And what’s the lesson? I guess it has to do with not going, going, going until the only way you’ll get a break is by getting sick.
I was nowhere near the mark when I predicted that I would feel “normal” by Thursday. Jetlag hasn’t been an issue, but the hacking cough sure has been!
I had pretty much the same thing when we arrived in Lugano; wish I knew how to nip it in the bud.
So far we’ve been having a challenging re-entry.
It’s Swami Kriyananda’s birthday weekend, so there were plans for a beautiful tribute concert, in addition to other inspiring events.
Unfortunately, Ananda Village is experiencing a major COVID outbreak, the worst we’ve ever seen. As a result, we’ve had to cancel a number of in-person events. The concert is also off, since — as always — singing is a super-spreader activity.
It’s quite a disappointment, but help came from an unexpected direction.
I’ve loved Ella Fitzgerald since I was in my teens. I’ve been transported over and over again by her stunning voice, amazing creativity, and sheer brilliance, to the point that I wouldn’t have believed I could still be blown away by anything she sang.
But today I was blown away anew by Ella. It was just the pick-up I needed in the midst of a challenging afternoon. Check it out and enjoy…“How High the Moon”!
But the good news is we’re home and well on our way to adjusting to the new time zone.
I think I’ll be pretty normal by tomorrow.
On the shuttle to board our flight to San Francisco and about to lose Wi-Fi. So this is it! Next time I write will be from stateside.
It was a rush moving out of the apartment this morning, but now we’ve been enjoying our final hours in Canobbio.
A delicious lunch with the whole family, a nice walk in the neighborhood, lots of time to chat, and now it’s almost time for dinner.
I can’t help but wonder what kind of shape we’ll be in by the time we get to the airport!
…the last day has arrived.
We’re vacating the apartment in the morning because we’ll be heading to the airport tomorrow night for a super-early departure Tuesday.
Monday (our final day) will be spent hanging out at Silvio’s; going to lunch with him, Graziella, and Fulvio; and eating pizzoccheri for dinner with Manu and John-Beni.
Yep, the meals just keep on coming! 😅
The birth/death of Liam Andrew — my stillborn son who would have turned twenty-nine today — occurred three days before Mother’s Day. And my mother had passed away two years before that.
I still remember how the combination of shock, grief, and hormonal changes left me feeling completely dazed and confused as I negotiated those first days. And Mother’s Day cards had me reeling.
After all, I no longer had a mother and all of a sudden I wasn’t going to be a mother either. It was a very surreal time.
Twenty-nine years later the grief and the wounds have healed. But there’s always a few moments in the lead-up to Mother’s Day when I have to pause and reflect and give thanks for my mother and for the experience of being Liam’s mother for even a short while.