Yeah, it was one of those days.
Ready to put it down, let it go, and head off to bed.
(not necessarily in that order)
Yeah, it was one of those days.
Ready to put it down, let it go, and head off to bed.
Monday is often our errand day, but today was a doozy!
Tire shop
Bank
Doctors appointment (in Marysville, no less!)
Computer work (while waiting for Ramesha to finish his appointment)
Raley’s grocery pick-up
And finally….”home again, home again, jiggity-jig”!
It seems that more and more people are starting to comprehend that music is much more than simply “entertainment”. This is so heartening to me.
“When songs rise within me,
I WILL SING THEM.
Even when I am tired,
weary and exhausted,
I WILL TRUST
these melodies are
more than melodies.
They are grace-filled
cadences to remind
my soul through my
aching, there is a
PEACE to keep
me steady…a balm
for my wounds.”
— Morgan Harper Nichols (All Along You Were Blooming)
The essay below is by Karl Paulnack, a pianist and (at the time he wrote this) director of the music division at the Boston Conservatory. The essay was adapted from a welcome speech he gave to incoming freshmen and was originally published in the June7, 2009 issue of The Christian Science Monitor, p. 28.
I first encountered Karl’s writing when a musician friend-of-a-friend shared it on her Facebook profile. It resonated so deeply that I immediately searched for more of what he had to say.
I have have been deeply affected by the way he articulates ideas that I feel in every cell of my being are true. So, rather than try and condense or paraphrase, I’ve decided to share some of his writings in full. However, since it’s quite long, I’ve decided to highlight my favorite sections with different colored text.
I’ll be curious to know how it strikes you.
Karl Paulnack – Music Division, The Boston Conservatory
One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not value me as a musician. I remember my mother’s reaction when I announced my decision to study music instead of medicine: “You’re wasting your SAT scores!” My parents love music, but at the time they were unclear about its value.
The confusion is understandable: We put music in the “arts & entertainment” section of the newspaper. But music often has little to do with entertainment. Quite the opposite.
The ancient Greeks had a fascinating way of articulating how music works. In their quadrivium—geometry, arithmetic, astronomy, and music—astronomy and music are two sides of the same coin. Astronomy describes relationships between observable, external, permanent objects.
Music illuminates relationships between invisible, internal, transient objects. I imagine us having internal planets, constellations of complicated thoughts and feelings. Music finds the invisible pieces inside our hearts and souls and helps describe the position of things inside us, like a telescope that looks in rather than out.
In June 1940, French composer Olivier Messiaen was captured by the Germans and sent to a prisoner-of-war camp. There, he finished a quartet for piano, cello, violin, and clarinet, and performed it, with three other imprisoned musicians, for the inmates and guards of that camp. The piece (“Quartet for the End of Time”) is arguably one of the greatest successes in the history of music.
Given what we have since learned about life under Nazi occupation, why would anyone write music there? If you’re just trying to stay alive, why bother with music? And yet—even from concentration camps themselves, we have surviving evidence of poetry, music, and visual art—many people made art. Why?
Art must be, somehow, essential for life. In fact, art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are; art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning.”
On Sept. 11, 2001, I was a resident of Manhattan. Later that day I reached a new understanding of my art. Given the day’s events, the idea of playing the piano seemed absurd, disrespectful, and pointless. Amid ambulances, firefighters, and fighter jets, I heard an inner voice ask: “Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment?”
Then I saw how we survived. The first group activity in my neighborhood that night was singing. People sang. They sang around firehouses; they sang “We Shall Overcome,” “America the Beautiful,” “The Star-Spangled Banner”; they sang songs learned in elementary school, which some hadn’t sung since then. Within days, we gathered at Lincoln Center for the Brahms Requiem. Along with firefighters and fighter jets, artists were “first responders” in this disaster, too. The military secured our airspace, but musicians led the recovery. In measuring the revival of New York, the return of Broadway—another art form—was as significant a milestone as the reopening of the stock markets.
I now understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment.” It’s not a luxury, something we fund from budget leftovers. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of things, a way to express feelings when we have no words, a way to understand things with our hearts when we cannot grasp them with our minds. Music is the language we choose when we are speechless.
Imagine a graduation with absolutely no music—or a wedding, a presidential inauguration, or a service celebrating the life and death of a close friend—imagine these with no music whatsoever. What’s missing—entertainment? Hardly. What’s missing is the capacity to meaningfully experience these events, as though eating great food without tasting it. Music functions as a container for experience—it augments capacity to grasp complex things. Without music, the events of our lives slip like water through cupped hands. Music increases our capacity to hold life experiences, to celebrate them, to survive them.
The performance I think of as my most important concert took place in a nursing home in a small Midwestern town. I was playing with a dear friend of mine, a violinist. We began with Aaron Copland’s “Sonata,” which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young pilot who was shot down during the war.
Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. After we finished, we mentioned that the piece was dedicated to a downed pilot. The man became so disturbed he had to leave the auditorium, but showed up backstage afterward, tears and all, to explain himself.
He told us that during World War II, as a pilot, he was in an aerial combat situation where one of this team’s planes was hit. He watched his friend bail out and his parachute open. But the Japanese planes returned and machine-gunned across the parachute chords, separating the parachute from the pilot. He then watched his friend drop away into the ocean, lost. He said he had not thought about that for years, but during that first piece of music we played, this memory returned to him so vividly that it was as though he was reliving it. How did Copland manage to capture that picture of internal planets so clearly?
People walk into concert halls as they walk into emergency rooms, in need of healing. They may bring a broken body to a hospital, but they often bring with them to the concert a mind that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again depends partly on how well musicians do their craft.
A musician is more of a paramedic than an entertainer. I’m not interested in entertaining you; I’m interested in keeping you alive. Fully alive. We’re a lot like cardiac surgeons; we hold people’s hearts in our hands every day. We just use different instruments.
What should we expect from young people who choose a future in music? Frankly, I expect them to save the planet.
If there is a future wave of wellness, of harmony, of peace, an end to war, mutual understanding, equality, fairness, I don’t expect it to come from a government, a military force, or a corporation. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if we are to have an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do.
As we did in Nazi camps and on the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.
It’s been a full week, that finished up with the accomplishing of some rather large tasks.
So, I’m feeling pretty done; ready to chill out and take it easy.
Ramesha and I have been reflecting on our need for some serious time off and I’m strongly feeling that in this moment as well.
I happened to glance down as I walked up the path from my apartment to the car, and the markings on this leaf literally stopped me in my tracks.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it.
I almost always encounter deer on my morning walks.
In this instance, the mother deer was completely indifferent to my presence, but her little fawn was too nervous to follow after her….at first.
But once he decided to go for it, he really went for it!
“Awa’ to the Hills” — performed by Derek Bell on the Mystic Harp 2 — seemed like the perfect accompaniment for this sweet moment in time.
I happened upon a very interesting article today, titled: America’s Lost Generation of Black Conductors.
Of course, I knew of James DePreist (I once auditioned for his orchestra, Oregon Symphony, though I didn’t make it past the first round); Calvin Simmons (I was deeply affected by the news of his untimely death in 1982); Michael Morgan (who passed away just this past week); and Denis De Couteau (friends in the SF Ballet Orchestra raved about him; I always hoped I would get to sub there and experience him for myself).
But I only became aware of these conductors once I was majoring in music and freelancing as a classical flutist. In my high school and early college years I had no idea there were black orchestra conductors.
And until this afternoon, I had still never heard of Dean Dixon; Isaiah Jackson; Everett Lee; or Henry Lewis (who was married to opera singer, Marilyn Horne), each of whom was renowned in the 60’s and 70’s!
But then I thought about it. When I was attending Milpitas High School in the early 70’s, the only way I heard about the wider world was from the newspaper and by sometimes watching the news with my parents. The local news — whether print or broadcast — probably didn’t place a lot of emphasis on black conductors from back East or in Europe.
And that brought home to me what an amazing difference the internet has made in the world. True, you can’t always trust it and the sheer volume of what’s out there is overwhelming, but my goodness, how it opens up our horizons!
At least, that’s what it feels like.
While big new ideas are percolating, incubating, and otherwise sorting themselves out, I’m just…pretty much on hold.
So it seemed like a good time to be still and simply contemplate the beauty at the heart of a rose.
You know that feeling when you discover someone who communicates in a way that explains you to yourself? Who — after you read or hear them — your personal universe tilts in a new direction?
Yeah, it’s kind of disorienting.
Well, I found someone like that. But the big ideas aren’t limited to me or my perspective; I think this will also inform my ministry and my spiritual path and how I understand my role in the world.
But first I have to assimilate and integrate these big ideas. I have a feeling it’s going to take a little while.