(not necessarily in that order)
The “firsts” continue…!
Tonight was a beautiful Kriya initiation, the first in the new Temple of Light sanctuary. And what an amazing space for Kriya it is; especially because it’s so profoundly still and silent during even the shortest meditation.
Another eagerly anticipated “first” will be this year’s Christmas concert and the 2020 Oratorio. We can hardly wait!
It’s been just over a month since the end of The Week That Was (aka Ananda’s 50th anniversary/Temple dedication). In a meeting earlier this week we were discussing a potential future event and whether it was going to be “too much”. Then one of the meeting attendees said something along the lines of “if we could do the 50th, we can do anything!”
And it’s true that we stretched way out of our comfort zones and established what we’ve been referring to as “a new normal”, which has higher standards and a much higher set point than what we were accustomed to B.T.F. (Before The Fiftieth). 🙂
So, yeah. If we could achieve the 50th, we can do anything…IF we keep reminding ourselves about what we accomplished. Which is a pretty big if because it’s easy to forget. To slip back into old, comfortable ways of doing, thinking, being.
It reminds me of a long ago life experience that also changed my set point: (literally) walking on fire! I won’t go into all the boring details, but I walked on something like twenty feet worth of hot coals. It was so amazing that I snuck to the back of the line and did it a second time!
Later a part of me tried to downplay it: “maybe the coals weren’t that hot” kind of thoughts. But I knew better…
During a trip to the beach when I was in high school, someone put out a campfire by covering it with sand, and I had the misfortune of stepping on it. To this day I remember thinking that I finally understood the phrase “walking into a nest of hornets” because it hurt so bad.
On the drive home I had to sit with my foot in an ice chest, followed by a visit to the hospital to treat the blistering, which took about a week to heal. And that was the result of one second’s worth of one foot coming into contact with hot coals.
But here’s the point. There have been plenty of times in the ensuing decades when I have felt fearful and powerless and limited. And what I wish is that I had made a concerted effort to remember — every single day — that I broke through my fears and accomplished something seemingly impossible.
And that’s what I hope we’ll do with our 50th anniversary experience: just remember!
Just saw the movie, “Maiden” and I totally agree with a reviewer who described it as “a documentary with all the nervous-making energy of a first-rate drama.”
This story of the first ever all-female crew to compete (in 1989) in an around the world, nine-month yacht race is gripping, inspirational, and filled with “take away” moments. These women — especially Tracy Edwards: whose dream it was, who put the team together, and who mortgaged her home in order to finance that dream — personify courage, persistence, resiliency, and relentless determination.
I would love to watch it with each of my close woman friends. It’s the kind of uplifting experience that you naturally want to share.
Here’s the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AecVJ3Br4zc
Sangha is a Sanskrit word that means “association,” “assembly,” “company” or “community.”
One of the best parts of my job is attending once or twice a month “Sangha” meetings. Usually led by Jyotish and Devi, spiritual directors of Ananda Sangha Worldwide, these are basically large staff meetings — Ananda-style. 🙂
First we meditate together for an hour, followed by time for each department to share what’s going on in their world. Ananda Village is headquarters for all the global outreach ministries, so it’s very, very inspiring to hear all the ways that Ananda is reaching spiritual seekers with a wealth of support and resources.
But what I love most about these meetings is being part of the Sangha — looking around a room filled with people who have dedicated their lives to God and are making a very real difference in the world. What a blessing and a privilege it is to be “in association” with such great souls!
A number of thoughts have popped into my mind as possible topics for today’s post, but I just finally realized that I’m subtly restraining–even “self-censoring”–myself!
Hmmmm…
For now I just want to reflect on the fact that I’m even doing it, but I’ll also need to take time to inquire into “why”. After all, this is supposed to be my safe place, (pretty much) anything goes, stream-of-consciousness blog post!
Seems clear that there’s still some insecurity to overcome, the sense that a particular idea isn’t interesting enough, or isn’t entirely “correct”, etc.
But considering how positive the feedback has been, I have to conclude that my own inner critic is the culprit. Boy, is he hard to get rid of!
Parting truly is “such sweet sorrow”.
Yes, so many people were here for the 50th that it was hard to get too sad when they all left, because they were mostly all leaving at once!
But twenty great souls stayed on to do the month-long Living Discipleship program, and Ramesha and I had the privilege of working with them several times over the course of the month… getting to know them better in the process.
Now the majority of them have left as well, with those who live at other Ananda communities in the States mostly hopping in their cars and taking off for home. It would have been nice to say a final good-bye, but since we’re more than likely to see them one or more times in the course of the year, it doesn’t feel too heart-wrenching.
It’s a completely different story with those who are returning to India. For one thing, there’s still a freshness to these divine friendships; a feeling of having finally reconnected with soul friends of many incarnations. Truly, it’s like brand new friendships with old, incredibly dear friends.
Then you add the fact that India is so far away and it definitely tugs at my heart strings. But at the same time I’m deeply aware of what a lovely dilemma this is: to have been blessed with yet more heart friends! I’m so grateful.
“Bleh” Is how I’m feeling at the moment. Why, I don’t know.
It’s a beautiful day. Sunday service was great. Choir sounded “powerful”, which is exactly what we’ve been working on. Had a really fun lunch with dear friends. About to spend the evening hanging out with my sweet hubby.
So why “bleh”?
I guess maybe I’m just a little tired. Which is part of why I’m once again writing earlier in the day, in the hopes of getting to bed earlier as well. Hasn’t worked yet, but hope springs eternal! 😀
…two weeks left to go!
And I’m happy to report that progress IS being made. Nothing dramatic, but I have cut down on the foods that tend to aggravate inflammation in the body and I’m consistently doing exercises for my tweaky knee, which is doing much better already. In fact, I’ve been able to start walking again, which feels really good.
Last but not least, I’m choosing to take a few minutes in the afternoon to write this blog post, in the hopes of breaking the habit of writing late into the night. So who knows? Maybe I’ll even get to bed a little early. 🙂
I found some old notes–a collection of quotes, insights, thoughts, and readings from close to twenty years ago–and I’m happy to realize that what was true for me then is still true for me now.
For example, I had written the following:
“What I want more than anything is to be able to simply be the vehicle for music to course through. I want to be the pipeline and the music the water. And I want to be a wide-open, pure, smooth, silvery pipeline for the sacred water to flow through, not a rusty, corroded, constricted, obstructed pipeline that blocks the flow. “
Yes! This is still my prayer and my most sincere desire, and I realize it was my prayer and desire even before I was able to articulate it. And I thank God, Gurus, and Swamiji for the precious moments when I’ve been able to actually experience that sacred flow.
I was still active as a freelance classical flutist when I moved into the Ananda Palo Alto community in the late-90’s, with a large portion of my income coming from music gigs. Christmas was a particularly busy time, with orchestras offering holiday concerts; businesses hosting office parties; and churches putting on elaborate Christmas pageants.
My second or third Christmas after coming to Ananda, I was blessed with an experience that clearly demonstrated to me the transformative power of Ananda’s meditation techniques and music.
I had performed at a church in a neighboring town the year before and was happy when they asked me back for a second year. But this time, the date of the gig just happened to be five days after a performance of the Oratorio. And, my goodness, what a contrast!
My experience at the “traditional” church:
My experience at Ananda:
During the church Christmas pageant I was miserable and felt like I could hardly play. I ended up promising myself I would never do that gig again, that the money just wasn’t worth it. But then I got to reflecting: I had done it the year before with no problem; what was different?
The difference was that in the year in-between, I had continued to deepen my meditation practice, becoming more and more attuned to a higher, more loving vibration. So it actually felt traumatic to try and fit myself back into that judgmental, superficial, empty energy.
Bottom line? Although I have rare moments when I miss playing in orchestra, I have no regrets about letting go of that career and dedicating my energies to a higher cause.